Nightmares
by Lan's Mashiara
Summary: AU. What if Nynaeve was not all that she seemed? What if she had only arrived in the Two Rivers a few years ago? What if she had a secret? WARNING! Nynaeve WILL seem out of character, this is because I am changing her character slightly.
1. Chapter 1

Nightmares

**A/N: This came to me while I was reading book one, when Rand says that Nynaeve's eyes looked anchient in her young face, and I just thought, what if Nynave was more than what she seems to be? More than a simple farm girl? What if she had only arrived in the Two Rivers a few years back? What if she had a deeper, darker secret? And so this fic was born. BE WARNED! It features loads of sappy Lan/Nynaeve scenes, but then those are the best ones, aren't they:D**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve hurried along the road. All around her, people were bustling about, preparing for Bel Tine and Winternight. She hated holidays. She stopped for a while, looking around her, at the small village that had become her home over the past three years. She watched the people who had become her family. Suddenly a voice cut into her reverie.

"Girl! Do you think you could tell me where the Wisdom is?" _Girl! _Nynaeve bustled. Who was calling _her _girl? She turned and found herself face to face with a woman. She had the look of an outlander, Cairhienen most probably, judging by her hight and coloring, but that was not what Nynaeve was looking at. She was looking at the woman's face. The woman's _ageless_ face. Aes Sedai. Hate boiled up inside Nynaeve. Hate of Aes Sedai. Suddenly she remembered the woman's question.

"You are looking at her, _girl_" She replied, spitefully. The Aes Sedai jerked, then resumed her serene calm.

"Ah. I see. I apologise, I did not realise."

"No, I'm sure you did not." Nynaeve's gaze was suddenly drawn to a small movement behind the Aes Sedai. It was a Warder. The Anger dissapated and was replaced by fear. She had been terrified of all Warders, ever scince… Suddenly she noticed the braided leather chord around the man's forehead. The _hadori_. Not only was this man a Warder, he was a Malkieri Warder. The fear increased tenfold.

"I am Moiraine, and this is Lan" The Aes Sedai said. _Lan._ The Uncrowned King of the Malkieri. She had heard stories of him as a child.

"Excuse me." She pushed past the pair, cutting Moiraine off, desperate now to get away, get to somewhere where she could be alone. She found herself in the inn, and hurried up to an empty room without so much as a word to the occupants of the main room. When she got to an empty room she collapsed onto the bed, head in hands. _Why me? Why now? Why can't they just leave me alone._ It was like history was repeating itself. Malkieri, Aes Sedai, oh Light.

"Nynaeve?" Came a voice from the doorway, "Nynaeve, are you alright?"

Nynaeve looked up. Perrin Aybara stood in the doorway, concern on his face.

"I'm fine Perrin." She lied. She stood up slowly, and came toward the door. "Just fine. Come, let's go downstairs."

Perrin frowned at her uncarachteristic gentleness, but decided it was nothing to worry about, and followed her down the steps, and back to where the Woman's Circle was gathering.

_Lan:_

Lan's face was as expressionless as usual as he watched the

young woman's retreating back, but inside he was confused. The woman had a quick temper, that much was obvious, but what had that emotion in her eyes as she gazed upon him been? The answer came all too easily. _Fear_.

Lan was not unused to being feared, but somehow the fear of this seemingly confident woman threw him off. It had just seemed too…personal.

Alright, so that's the start of the story. Terrible? Wonderful? Please review so I can get the next chapter up.


	2. What she had lost

Nightmares

**A/N: Yay! Okay, second chapter. Takes place after Baerlon but before Shadar Logoth. There may never have been such a situation as I am writing about, but this is AU, so there:D**

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, don't own WoT, blah blah. **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, gazing into the flames of the small fire. _Why, why did I do this?_ She thought, _why? _She should never have come, but in the four short years that she'd been living in Edmond's Field, she'd come to love all of the people there, although she'd rather die than tell them. After they had left with that bloody flaming Aes Sedai (that anger boiled up again) she had had to go after them. There was no other option. She could not let her have them!

All the anger she had ever had towards Aes Sedai and built up over the years, and now she found herself letting it all out at Moiraine, blaming her for even the smallest things. It wasn't personal; it was just Moiraine's bad luck that she'd been the first Aes Sedai to cross the path of Nynaeve al'Meara.

_Lan:_

Lan watched the woman from across the fire. She seemed deep in thought. Just then Rand tore off a piece of the meat he was eating with is teeth. It just so happened that Lan was looking directly into Nynaeve's face at that very moment, and saw her blanch. He frowned inwardly.

"Would you like some?" He offered, holding the meat out to her. Was it just him or did her face pale?

"No. No. Thank you." She replied.

"Are you sure?" She glared formidably at him, and for reasons he wasn't entirely sure of, he found himself suppressing a smile.

"Yes, I'm sure." She retorted sharply. Her gaze softened somewhat. "I'm just not all that fond of meat, that's all." Lan shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

_Nynaeve:_

Oh Light! She thought she was going to be sick. The smell of the cooking meat surrounded her. Unbidden, memories of that dreadful day came back to her.

_The Trollocs swarmed in by the hundreds, somewhere a baby cried. _

"_No! Besnik!" She screamed. Not him! Oh please Light, not him! _

_A woman yelled. _

_The sound of steel on steel. Swords flashing. _

_The smell of burning flesh._

"_No!" A terrified female voice cutting through the commotion._

"_Father!" she screamed. _

_Why? Why this?_

Nynaeve pushed the memories away, the way she had been doing for years now. Trying her best to forget. But she couldn't. Never properly. There would always be that small memory, in the back of her mind. To keep her from sleeping. To keep her from loving. To keep her from forgetting. Forgetting what she had lost: everything.

The others were lying down now, going to sleep. Nynaeve rose, and made her way toward them. She lay down next to them and closed her eyes, but she did not sleep. She never slept. If she did, the nightmares came.

_What she had lost. She had lost everything._


	3. Ki'sain, babies, and an urge to panic

Nightmares

**A/N: Yup, second chapter I've uploaded in one day. I have no life. But they're short. So that makes it better.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

_Lan:_

Lan rose early that morning. One of the sheepherders had taken the watch after his, so he'd gotten a few hours of sleep. Oddly enough, Nynaeve hadn't.

_Why was he thinking about that Wisdom so much?_ He thought to himself. He made himself think of other things, but his thoughts kept wondering back to Nynaeve.

Why hadn't she slept? He had sat watching her, and she was awake all night. He was sure of it. That, added with her odd behaviour before they had gone to sleep, her looking like she was remembering something painful, confused him.

He found himself looking over the group of people lying sleeping a short distance away. All six of them. _Six!_ Moiraine, Thom, Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene and…_Nynaeve!_ Where was she? He turned to look over the camp, repressing the urge to panic. Suddenly his eyes fell upon a figure by the edge of the clearing they had made their camp in. Nynaeve. She sat atop a large bolder with a small book in her lap, and a pencil in her hand. She looked like she was writing something…or drawing?

Lan slowly made his way towards her, stopping a while away, and just observing her.

"Are you going to come and talk to me, _Dai Shan_, or are you just going to stand there watching?" Her voice brought him back to reality with a jolt. How did she…?

Despite his efforts, some of his confusion must have registered on his face, because she replied (with some amusement, to his puzzlement)

"Yes, I know who you are." Lan arched an eyebrow and moved closer to where she sat.

"It's not everyday you come across a woman from a small town in Andor who recognises a Malkieri when she sees one." He replied. She seemed to stiffen at that, for reasons he did not know, and her reply was sharper than before.

"Yes, well, there is at least one, apparently." And with that she slid off the rock (It was not every day that Lan met women who could slide off rocks, and make it look as graceful as she just had), and walked off, but not before Lan managed to catch a glimpse of what had been on the paper.

He was right, she _had_ been drawing, but the picture was enough to make his stony expression crease into a frown (It seemed he had been doing a lot more frowning- visible and not- since she came along). The picture was of a woman cradling a baby in her arms. The woman had looked not unlike Nynaeve, only older, and the baby could not have been more than a newborn. But what had disturbed Lan the most was not the ominous shadow lurking behind the woman, the ominous shadow growing closer and closer, but the _ki'sain_ decorating the woman's forehead.

**Okay, chapter 3, check. Now you just need to review:Innocently channels weaves of Compulsion:.**


	4. Corby and the fireball

Nightmares

**A/N: This scene actually did happen! But I am changing it ever so slightly. Well, okay, a lot. Also I am shortening it a bit, because there is a lot of stuff that is irrelevant. **

**Disclaimer: Hang, on….nope, just checked, and I'm NOT Robert Jordan.**

_Nynaeve:_

"Mistress al'Meara, you may come out now, if you wish." Nynaeve scrambled up. _Blood and bloody flaming ashes! _How had she known? No. She knew how. _Bloody saidar. _She walked over to where Moiraine sat, taking relish in the fact that the Warder hadn't known she was there.

"Tea?" Moiraine offered.

"No, I don't want any tea. I would not drink your tea if I was dying of thirst. You wont use any Edmonds Field folk in your dirty Aes Sedai schemes."

"You have very little room to talk, Wisdom." Moiraine replied. "You can wield the One Power yourself, after a fashion." Nynaeve bit back an oath. Of course she knew. She was just surprised she had not approached her before.

"What of it? _I _do not go around interfering with other people's lives, do I?" Moiraine seemed startled. Nynaeve smirked triumphantly.

"You knew?" Moiraine asked.

"Of course." Nynaeve replied shortly. Moiraine smiled.

"Then you do not deny it?"

"No."

"How did you start? You healed someone, didn't you?"

"No." Nynaeve replied. _When would this woman stop!_ "I don't particularly feel like talking about it, so if you don't mind…" She turned around to walk off, but Lan was there, barring her way. Nynaeve's hand went to her braid.

She spun around to face Moiraine.

"Do you think," she said, softly, slowly, anger evident in her eyes, "That you could get your pet bull out of my way?" Moiraine chuckled softly, and Lan's face became indignant for just a few seconds, and then flickered back to his usual stony demeanour. Good. For some reason she felt like irritating him.

"I tell you what," Moiraine said, "You tell me how you started, and I'll let you walk away. I'll move my pet bull." Lan gave her a flat look.

Nynaeve was angry, but she wanted to get away from Moiraine. She sighed. Today just was not her day. She missed Corby. _Where had that come from? She hadn't thought about him for a long time. _I hope he's all right, she found herself thinking. She shook her head to rid herself of these thoughts, and focused on Moiraine. The As Sedai had the upper hand, but that could be changed. Her training suddenly kicked in, and she found herself planning out her next strategic moves.

"Alright." She said carefully. "I'll tell you." Moiraine smiled triumphantly. Obviously she thought she was still winning. _Good._

_Moiraine:_

She had the advantage. This was good. Nynaeve was obviously just an innocent farm girl. _An innocent farm girl with a lot of power, _that niggling voice at the back of her head reminded her. She ignored it.

Nynaeve sat down. "It was a fireball." She stated simply. _That's it! THAT is the big secret that she doesn't want to divulge? _Nynaeve smiled, for reasons unknown to Moiraine. There was something about that girl that confused her. She was a child! She came from a village so small that in wasn't even on most maps! So why was she always so infuriatingly mysterious? Why was there just that thing about her that Moiraine could not figure out, and that drove her crazy?

"Alright, Aes Sedai." Nynaeve rose. "I have fulfilled my half of the bargain, and now you must too. Let me go." Moiraine frowned.

"Alright." She said slowly, then more confidently. "I'll send your regards to the children when we find them."

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve froze. _Light!_ She could not, would not, let her have them, even if it meant going with her. _Oh, mother's flaming milk in a bloody flaming cup!_

"I-I'll come."

"Really? Why the sudden change of mind, Wisdom?"

Nynaeve bristled. Moiraine turned to Lan, the hint of a smile touching the corners of her mouth.

"Why don't you go get the Wisdom's horse, and we can go?"

_And perhaps, _Moiraine added silently, _I can find out the reason for that fireball…_

**Okay, chapter 4, and at the request of neela, it is longer! But I will be posting an extra long one really soon, so be prepared! As I mentioned before, there is a lot of actual dialogue from the books in here, as well as my own inserts, such as the mystery man, and Nynaeve's mystery training! Thanky, thanky, thanky to all of my reviewers!**


	5. To sit around hoping

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Wheel of Time. It's all Bobby's (yes, I call him that!).**

_Mikalaus:_

Corby paced up and down the hallway irritably, cursing himself with every footfall. Suddenly his ears caught the sound of someone approaching. He turned round slowly to find himself face to face with a tall man with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

"Your Highness," Corby bowed.

"You should get some sleep, Corby," The tall man suggested.

"I can't, Your Highness," Corby replied. The man winced.

"Corby, we've known each-other since we were boys, we trained to be warriors together, do you think we could drop the 'Your Highnesses'?"

Corby smiled softly. "As you command, Mikalaus."

"Now, why are you awake?" Mikalaus asked.

"I'm worried. I should never have let her go." Corby replied, his face now angry.

"You know that she's entirely capable of taking care of herself, Corby," He replied gently, "If anything happened, she would know what to do."

Corby sighed, "Yes, but, no offence intended Mika," Here he reverted to the nickname Mikalaus was known by, "But it's also entirely possible that she's done something stupid."

Mika gave a small smile, "That would be in keeping with her character, wouldn't it," He said, remembering the numerous occasions on which she had decided to do something spontaneous and usually very dangerous. "There is nothing we can do now, Corby. We must just wait and hope that she is alright."

Corby growled, "I cannot do that! I have sworn to protect her, and I can not just sit around HOPING!" He shouted the last words, and the corridor was suddenly empty of even the few people who were there to begin with. Corby sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"It has been two months since her last letter." He said, more softly. "I fear for her."

"You can't go after her, you could blow her cover."

"I don't care about her flaming cover!" Corby roared, "I care about making sure she doesn't get hurt or killed!" Mika sighed.

"Corby, go and get some sleep. We can discuss this in the morning." Corby nodded and walked off down the hall. Mikalaus sighed. It was hard to keep a perspective on this when most of him was screaming to do just what his old friend had suggested. _What if something was wrong? What if something had happened to her? _Mikalaus straightened, and set off in the opposite direction to Corby. There was someone he had to talk to.

_Lan:_

There was a crash of breaking branches in the woods. In two long strides Lan was between Moiraine and the sound, the pale moonlight rippling along his sword. To the crackle and snap of the underbrush a pair of horses burst from the trees, one with a rider.

"Bela!" Egwene exclaimed, "Nynaeve!" Nynaeve swung from the horse. There was something about the way she dismounted that flickered at the edge of Lan's awareness, something out of place. Nynaeve started towards the Edmond's Fielders, and engulfed Egwene in a large hug. They quickly mounted their horses, and rode on. Egwene and the Wisdom were chattering excitedly as they rode, and Perrin seemed deep in thought. Eventually Moiraine called a halt, and they dismounted quickly. Again as Lan watched Nynaeve climb off her horse, he got the feeling that something was off. If he could just place what it was exactly… "Lan?" Moiraine. "A fire would be nice." He resisted the urge to swear, and turned on his heal to find a spot for the fire.

Later, as the fire died out and Egwene dozed off to sleep, he noticed Nynaeve moving over to Perrin. She crouched down in front of him, and spoke softly to him. He nodded and pulled of his shirt. He saw Nynaeve gasp. He couldn't see the boy's frount himself, but had heard that one of the Whitecloaks hadn't exactly been doting on him. Nynaeve rummaged in her bag and produced an assortment of vials and pouches. She began gently rubbing the ointment into his skin.

Lan suddenly felt a stab of jealousy. He looked quickly over to Moiraine, but noted thankfully that she was asleep. _Why under the Light did he feel like this?_

**Chapter five! There's some actual text from the books here, but most of it is my own creation. I'll update soon, I promise!**


	6. The feel of her

Nightmares

**A/N: Okay, I'm back. I wasn't planning on posting this until I had made it longer, but my bloody sister bludgeoned me into posting. So any complaints about the length of this chapter should go to her. So there. :P**

**Disclaimer: Never have owned it, and unless Robert Jordan decides to adopt me and leave me the rights to the books in his will, I never will.**

_Mikalaus:_

Mikalaus moved through the halls of the large castle quietly. It was early in the morning, but a few of the students were rising. Those he came across would stop and gape until they remembered to bow. He sighed. Again. Eventually (it had felt like forever; he _really_ didn't like being bowed to) he came to the door he was looking for. He opened it and surveyed the room.

A large man sat behind a plain desk writing something. The man had black hair, heavily streaked with grey, yet despite his age one could see that he was immensely powerful.

"What do you want?" He demanded abruptly. Mikalaus smiled. Twynig didn't care about rank, and certainly had never heard about manners.

"I wanted to ask you something." Mika replied. "I could have gone to someone else, but I came to me because I knew you'd be frank with me. It's about Nynaeve." Twynig's expression softened marginally, and Mikalaus almost yelled in shock. He didn't know that he could lighten that ever-present scowl.

"You're worried." It was a statement, not a question, but Mikalaus nodded anyway.

"Is she…is she capable of…" He trailed off. He didn't want to say 'defending herself', as he didn't want to think of her being in any danger. Twynig knew what he meant, however.

"The first time I saw her was when she was eleven years old. She was tiny, and I couldn't believe that I would ever be able to so much as teach her to throw a punch. I did, Mikalaus, and much more. She is quite possibly the most talented pupil I have ever had. And that is the truth. She is more than capable of defending herself."

Mikalaus relaxed visibly. "I was just so nervous. I know she's done this before, and probably in more dangerous situations, it's just that…" He trailed off. Twynig didn't know, and he wasn't going to be the one to tell him. "Never mind."

Twynig nodded, but Mikalaus had seen the curiosity on the old soldier's face.

"Thank you." Mikalaus said. Twynig nodded, and Mikalaus made his way out. Thank the Light he hadn't finished that sentence. Nynaeve would have killed him. _It's just that in her last letter, she mentioned that there was an Aes Sedai and Warder that had just arrived_. Mikalaus shuddered, then smiled as he imagined Nynaeve's anger at the Aes Sedai. _She always was stubborn._

_Nynaeve:_

The silence in the ways was unbearable. Nynaeve sat with her feet tucked underneath her, and her blanket over her knees. Her book lay open on her lap as she sketched by the light of the lantern. She had started with the sleeping mound that was Mat, and then had moved on to the others. She was finished them now, and was busy shading the hard planes of Lan's face. _Lan's wonderful face._ Her eyes widened. Where had that thought come from? Not wonderful, a Warder! And a Malkieri to boot. _But can you blame an entire people for the crimes of one? _The annoying little voice in her head asked her. Nynaeve ground her teeth and concentrated on the picture. _I will NOT_ _think of that, I will NOT!_

_Lan:_

Lan sat facing the fire, watching Nynaeve out of the corner of his eye. Everyone else was asleep, and yet the Wisdom was drawing. _Drawing!_ After that first night he had watched her every time he was on watch, and she didn't sleep a wink. She didn't even bother to hide it. He rose to his feet and moved over to were she sat. He lowered himself down beside her. She didn't say anything.

The picture was of the camp, and as he looked at it his breath caught. _Light but she was a good artist. _He saw himself in the picture; she had obviously just finished him when he moved away. She was drawing the fire now, the shadows playing around the picture-flames looked so real he felt that they could burn. He watched her hands as she drew, the lantern light flickering along her smooth hands. Smooth hands. He frowned. All the other farm people he had met had rough, calloused hands, the result of lives spent labouring. Even the younger girls and boys had them, and yet Nynaeve's hands were as smooth as Moiraine's. That was definitely odd.

He took a deep breath, and then instantly regretted it. He had inhaled her scent. She smelled like jasmine and roses. The smell filled his lungs, intoxicating him. He focused on the ground, desperately trying to rid himself of the smell. _Light, she smelled good._ No, these were the thoughts he didn't want! He finally got rid of them and looked up again. She was still drawing, damn her, as if he wasn't even there!

"Are you going to acknowledge me at all?" He asked her finally, when the silence got to be too much for him.

"Do you want me to?" She asked, without even looking up from her paper. _Oh that woman was infuriating!_

"Do you always answer questions with more questions?" He retorted. She had finished the drawing now, and she turned the page to begin a new one.

"Does it seem like I do?" She replied, a hint of a smile playing in the corners of her full lips. Despite himself he couldn't help smiling too. The picture was a person, he couldn't see whom yet.

"Do you practice being annoying, or does it come naturally?" He asked.

"Ah, Lan dear," She replied, (was he imagining things, or did his heart just skip a beat when she called him dear?) "What can I say? I'm a natural." He had to try hard to keep from laughing. She was turning him inside out. The picture was a man. He frowned, the smile disappearing from his lips. Who was he? She drew some more, and the features became clearer. The man was tall; his hand was resting on the hilt of the sword belted around his waist. He had dark eyes, and, Lan had to admit, he was very handsome. Irrational jealousy flowed through him.

"Who's that?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hmm?" She looked down and frowned, as if only noticing now that she had been drawing. "Oh, that's Corby."

"And who," Lan asked, barely keeping from gritting his teeth, "Is Corby?"

"An old friend. I've known him since I was a baby."

"Ah." Lan replied. _Change the subject!_ He yelled at himself mentally. He really didn't want to here any more about this Corby.

"You never told me how you knew that I was Malkieri." Good. Neutral territory. Nynaeve frowned, and tucked a loose wisp of hair behind her ears.

"Ah well. You know. I just. Knew." That was hardly an answer, but Lan got the feeling that she wasn't going to say any more, so he dropped it and went back to admiring her smooth hands. There was a ring on one of her fingers. It was silver, and was engraved with vines and small flowers.

"Your ring." He stated, and mentally kicked himself. _That just sounded ridiculous, and she probably doesn't know what you're talking about!_ She looked down.

"Family heirloom."

_Nynaeve:_

It wasn't quite a lie. She could feel his breath tickle the back of her neck, and it was causing some sensations that she was trying her best to ignore.

_Lan:_

"Oh." He said, in reply to her comment. "I see. Do the flowers symbolize anything?" He lifted his hand, and gently ran a finger over her ring, touching quite a bit of her finger as he did so. _Her skin is as smooth as silk._

_Nynaeve:_

His touch was just amplifying the sensations, and she shifted where she sat.

"Not that I know of." She replied. Another lie.

"They're pretty," Lan said.

_Lan:_

_PRETTY!_ That was the best he could come up with? _Pretty?_ She can't have found it as pathetic as he did, as she gave a small smile.

"Thank you." She replied. _Why wasn't he moving his hand? _It still lay atop of hers, his finger stroking the ring slightly, but mostly her hand. The answer came with an ease that irritated him. _Because he liked the feel of her._

_Nynaeve:_

Apparently he wasn't going to stop touching her. Why didn't she feel upset?

_Lan:_

He watched her. Her free hand was still drawing, and her eyes hadn't moved throughout the entire conversation, except to look briefly at the ring, and then back to the picture again, but he was sure that she was reacting as strongly to this as he was. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and Lan continued to stroke her.

_Nynaeve:_

Oh Light. She wished with all her being that he would stop, and yet at the same time she wanted him to continue. Suddenly there was a movement at the other end of the camp, and Lan's hand was off hers in an instant, and on his sword hilt. Why did she feel disappointed?

_Lan:_

He sat silently, watching the area where the noise had come from warily. He and Nynaeve had both looked up suddenly when they had heard it. For some reason Nynaeve's hand was on her foot. _Her foot?_ A figure was approaching them. Lan got to his feat, and surprisingly the Wisdom did too. He pulled his sword free of its sheath and stepped in front of her, blocking her from the danger. _Now why did he do that?_

"Do you want me to take over the watch?" It was one of the sheepherders. Bitter resentment filled Lan. This was what had interrupted them? He fought back the urge to do some serious bodily damage to the boy and grunted.

"If you want." The boy nodded and sat down by the fire. Lan went back to the blankets and lay down in them. He saw Nynaeve sitting back down, and resuming her drawing.

That night his dreams were filled with jasmine, roses, and flowered vines, rising up and ensnaring him in their scent.

**Okay, all done! Please review! I've got the next chapter on the way!**


	7. That one bites

Nightmares

**A/N: Chapter 7. Please note that this is likely to be depressing, as I have just finished watching a very sad movie, and that has made _me _depressed, and my moods usually affect my writing. So yeah. Depressing.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it don't you think I would be running around yelling 'Lan is mine!' at the top of my lungs? **

_Egwene:_

Mat was shaking her by the shoulders, and Egwene reached out to hit him over the head.

"Ow!" He yelped.

"What do you want, Mat?" Egwene asked, groggily.

"Get up." He said, "We're moving on." Egwene sighed and hauled herself to her feet. She saw Nynaeve getting up and pulling a small vial from her belt pouch. She got the top off and swallowed a few drops of the contents. Egwene was not bothered. She had seen Nynaeve do this before, usually in the mornings, so it wasn't anything new. She saw Moiraine looking at Nynaeve curiously, though. Nynaeve glared back.

Egwene walked over to where the Wisdom stood. "Nynaeve," she said, trying to make it sound casual, "Why do you hate Moiraine Sedai so much?" Nynaeve spun around to face her and gave her braid a yank.

"Mind your own business," she glowered at Egwene. Egwene raised her hands defensively and moved over to the horses. Nynaeve was obviously in a bad mood.

xxx

_Nynaeve:_

After the _Machin Shin_ Nynaeve felt exhausted. Lan was leading them through the frozen lands, but she hardly saw a thing. _Lamprent would be furious, _she thought to herself. She made herself sit up straight and pay attention. She hadn't gone through seven years of training to revert to the dazed inattentiveness of a first level child at the first cold day. She had to pay attention.

They were close to Fal Dara, but Moiraine called a stop anyway. She knew that they were tired, Nynaeve had to give her that. They dismounted and Lan took the reigns of the horses, and began to move over to Ru'n.

Nynaeve almost smiled. He obviously hadn't had the chance to meet Ru'n before. She stayed a short distance away. She wanted to watch this. Lan reached over to grab her horse's reigns, and Ru'n went from docile and seemingly indifferent to fierce in a matter of seconds. She bared her teeth and made to bite at the Warder. Lan jerked his hand out of the way just in time.

He went for Ru'n's bridle this time, and Ru'n moved quickly to the side, and pawed the ground in a warning. Her eyes were rolling, and she was still baring her teeth. Lan opened his mouth and than closed it. He seemed to be grinding his teeth. Obviously he was too proud to ask her for help. Well that suited Nynaeve just fine.

Lan paused for a while, carefully looking the horse over. The, without warning, he lunged for her mane. He managed to catch a handful, but whatever internal triumph he may have been feeling was short lived. Ru'n jerked to the left, and brought her hoof down on Lan's foot. Lan blinked. Moiraine gasped and ran to his side, and Nynaeve moved over to her horse. She made sure that Lan could see her before reaching out to stroke Ru'n's nose. The horse whickered and nuzzled her, back to docile.

"Oh no!" Nynaeve said, in a very unconvincing performance of shock. "Did bad Ru'n hurt you?" She turned to the horse and wiggled her finger at it. Egwene chocked back laughter. Lan ground his teeth some more.

"Ru'n," Nynaeve said firmly, "Lan is a friend." She took Lan's hand, and touched it to the horse's side with hers right next to it. Then she took them off.

"You con touch her now," She said to Lan. Lan warily stretched out his hand and touched the horse. It whickered and nuzzled him in much the same way as it had just done Nynaeve. Lan ground his teeth even more, if that was possible.

"Good Ru'n!" Nynaeve said, then, turning to Lan she said, "You really shouldn't sneak up on strange horses, you know. You never know _what_ they might do." Then she turned and walked away. Moiraine took Lan's head in her hands and healed him, all the while muttering to herself.

The next morning Nynaeve was still looking very pleased with herself. She smiled as she patted her horse, and almost grinned outright as she watched the Warder treading warily around Ru'n.

"There's really no need to be scared of her, you know." She said. "She wont hurt you again." Lan said nothing.

They were on their mounts again after a quick breakfast, and moving toward Fal Dara. When they arrived outside the city, she saw the looks of stunned amazement on the faces of the Edmond's Fielders. She herself felt no such amazement. She had been here several times before. As they approached she noted Lan shake his hood off, and Moiraine do the same.

"Hoods," she said, almost absently.

"What?" Perrin asked. Perrin. She knew what the yellow eyes meant. _Oh Light, Perrin._

"Hoods." She repeated. "It's against the law here in Shinear to have your hood up inside a city's walls. To late she realised what she'd done, and began cursing herself. Lan and Moiraine gave starts, and stare at her. _Blood and bloody flaming bloody ashes!_

"How…" Moiraine began, but was cut off by Mats joking, "Are they all so good looking?"

"A Halfman cannot hide with his face exposed," was Lan's flat answer, but was still looking at Nynaeve oddly. She continued to curse.

As they made their way through the city there were cries of "Dai Shan!" and "The Golden Crane!" Nynaeve gave a bitter smile. The stories of al'Lan Mandragoran, crownless king of the Malkieri had filled her childhood. As they arrived, footmen leaped out to take their horses.

"Be careful of that one," Nynaeve heard Lan say to one, jabbing his finger in the direction of Ru'n. "It bites."

She smiled properly now, absently stroking her horse's soft muzzle. "Be good." She warned it. It gave a snort. She smiled again.

A man in armour came forward and bowed to Moiraine and Loial, and then to Lan. He spoke a few words to them, and then turned to show them the way, ignoring the rest of them. 'It feels good to be ignored for a change. The grovelling gets dull after a while', she fondly remembered Jame's words. How well they expressed her feelings.

_Moiraine:_

Ingtar showed them to Angelmar's study, and then left them. After they had entered Angelmar greeted them all formally. Suddenly his eyes fell upon Nynaeve. His eyebrows raised, and Moiraine could have sworn she saw the Wisdom shake her head slightly. Odd. Maybe she was seeing things.

xxx

_Nynaeve:_

She did not say a word throughout Angelmar's story of Malkier's fall. She had heard it told better, and besides, her mind was on other things.

_Lan:_

They were leaving at sun up the next morning, and everyone else had retires already to get a good night's sleep before the long journey into the Blight. He was taking a walk, although he wasn't sure were to. He was just walking, partially lost in thought, and partially alert.

When he and Moiraine had come back to where the Edmond's Fielders were waiting with Angelmar, the children had been giving him strange looks. He found out later from one of the servants that Angelmar had told the story of the fall. He wasn't sure how he felt. _Nynaeve already knew._ He wasn't sure where that had come from either. _How did she know?_

Suddenly he saw Moiraine moving down the hall ahead of him. She was walking slowly and silently. In other words, she was sneaking. He moved up close to her.

"And what are you doing up at this hour, Aes Sedai?" Moiraine whirled around, and he was reminded of the firs few says they had spent together **(A/N: New Spring!) **and how she had acted then.

"Nynaeve went outside to the city to take a walk. I decided to use this opportunity to do something I've wanted to do for a long time." She responded cryptically. Lan nodded.

"And what exactly is it that you will be doing? And how does it involve the Wisdom?" He added as an afterthought.

"You'll see," Moiraine replied, and continued walking. Lan followed her. They were approaching the door of the room in which Nynaeve was staying.

"Why are we here?" He asked Moiraine.

"Like I said. You'll see." They entered the door. All was quiet. The bed in the middle of the room was empty. Moiraine had been right. As usual. Moiraine crossed the room to where Nynaeve had left her pack lying on the floor, and picked it up, carrying it over to the bed. There she set it down.

"Moiraine," Lan began, but his bondholder cut him off.

"Lan, I know what you're going to say. But haven't you noticed some odd things about her?" Lan nodded reluctantly. "And haven't you wished you knew the answers to a few questions about her?" He nodded again. She smiled triumphantly.

"Then let's begin." She opened the pack and took out a collection of papers. The first was a letter. It read:

_Nynaeve-_

_You may just be right. I am going to get someone to look into that. I hope you're safe. May the Light be with you._

_-Z._

Moiraine frowned. "That doesn't tell us very much."

The next paper was a drawing. The artists name at the bottom was 'Elnore Mawell'. The picture was two girls, about five or six. One was blonde with big blue eyes, and appeared to be the elder of the two. The other was quite obviously Nynaeve. They sat next to each other, and were in a forest. It seemed to be a picnic **(A/N Do they have picnics in WoT? ) **as they were sitting on a blanket. They were both reading a big book. A dog sat in frount of them, its head resting on its paws. They looked so happy; they were laughing as they read.

Moiraine frowned. "Now who is that? This appears to be raising more questions than it is answering. But she went on anyway.

The next item was another letter. This one was so worn and old that the writing was illegible. Moiraine sighed and tossed it aside. That was all the papers. She dipped her hand inside the pack again, and brought out a small tin.

It was painted with flowers and hearts and was the sort of thing you would expect to see in the hands of a little child. Moiraine carefully opened the box. There were two things inside. One was a lock of honey blonde hair, the colour of cornfields. The next definitely caught Lan's attention.

A _hadori_. "Well." Moiraine said. "Well well well. Now _that_ is interesting." She carefully set it aside, and pulled another object out of the pack. It was another drawing, but this one was definitely more recent. The drawing was of a tall man with blue eyes and light brown hair, wearing formal wear with his arm around the waist of a small woman. The woman was Nynaeve. This, however, was not what caused Lan's eyes to widen. That was caused by what Nynaeve was _wearing_. She was dressed in a Domani style dress, which clung to her every curve, and was only barely opaque. It was deep red, and had a low cut neckline. Her hair, rather than being in its usual braid, was loose and cascading down her shoulders in wave after wave of soft dark beauty.

Moiraine made a chocking noise. "Well, that certainly isn't her usual wear. She turned to picture over. On the back was scrawled:

_Nynaeve- A memento of Arad Doman, and a reminder that too much wine is not good of some people! Love Ruan xxx_

Moiraine's eyebrows arched. "Very interesting." _Ruan?_ Lan thought, _who is _he He blinked. Why did he care?

Moiraine carefully put the things she had removed back into the pack, and returned it to its spot on the floor. "It's getting late and she'll be back soon." She said by way of explanation. Lan nodded curtly, and they left the room.

Moiraine had been right. This evening had definitely created more questions than it had answers.

**Longest chapter yet! Does little victory dance I really liked the name Ru'n, so I made it Nynaeve's horse! It means 'beloved' in Celtic (or Gaelic, I'm not sure which!).**


	8. NEXT TIME!

Nightmares

**A/N: Yes, I know what you're thinking. 'ANOTHER CHAPTER? Wow she has no life!' But I'm bored, so I decided to write some more! Anyway, I'm nearly at the end of EotW (yes, this is the _seriously_ abridged version, in 8, maybe 9 chapters!), and that means one of my favourite Lan/Nynaeve scenes! **

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve made her way back from her walk outside in the city. The air was cold, but she had needed to think privately. She opened the door to her room and walked in silently. Her pack lay on the floor where she had left it. No. Not where she had left it. That was decidedly odd. She made her way over towards it, and opened it up. She smiled softly. _Moiraine finally decided to take action, then._ She had left the letter from Anona on top, and now the picture of Anona and herself was on top.

She stood up and moved over to the bed. She should at least make some pretence of sleep, just so if someone came in they would think her sleeping.

xxx

They did indeed leave with the rising sun, and Nynaeve heard more than a few grumbles from the Edmond's Fielders. Ingtar left them after a while, and the weather got warmer and warmer, and the Blight's corruption more and more apparent. She could see the shock on the others faces, and she was reminded of the first time she had been in the Blight. They were also getting hotter, and shedding garments. She had been trained to withstand heat and cold, so she remained unperturbed.

The sun was setting, and Moiraine spoke up,

"There is a place not far off. It will be a good omen for us to camp there." Nynaeve smiled. _Malkier._ Lan gave Moiraine a flat look, then nodded reluctantly.

When they arrived at a hilltop Moiraine deemed sufficient they dismounted. Nynaeve saw the remains of the seven towers in the distance. Her smile was sad as she looked at them. She forced herself to turn her head and concentrate on setting up camp. Moiraine channelled some sort of thing that caused people to 'see around us' or some such thing. Lan and the boys worked on unloading the horses, and Nynaeve noted with some satisfaction that Lan came near Ru'n very carefully.

"There is some uncontaminated water just ahead." Moiraine informed them.

"Uncontaminated water?" Loial said, disbelievingly, "In the Blight?"

Moiraine smiled, "I have used the Power to… disinfect it, I suppose you could say. You may bathe if you wish." Egwene disappeared to bathe, and a came back a while later, informing Nynaeve that she could go.

Nynaeve made her way carefully through the trees to the small pool that Moiraine had treated. The water sparkled invitingly, and Nynaeve smiled softly. This would be a welcome change from the blasting heat they had endured all day.

Slowly she unbuttoned her dress, pulling it off, and then tugged off her shift. She gently traced the long scar running down the inside of her lower arm. She could still remember the day it had happened. The day that the Trollocs had come to the village where she had been staying with her parents and brother at the time.

She sighed and moved to the water's edge. There was no point in dwelling on the past. She stepped into the water, and allowed herself a little gasp as her toes were met with the icy cold of the pool. She walked in further, until she was waist deep in water. She reached for her braid and loosened her hair. It fell over her shoulders covering her back.

This was unfortunately the moment Lan decided to fetch some water from the pool. He stepped out into the clearing with Rand in tow, and straight into the sight of Nynaeve. Luckily, she had her back turned, but she whirled around the second she heard the noise. Everything happened at once. Rand yelled loudly, Nynaeve screamed, and Lan's eyes widened, and he whirled around so that his back was to Nynaeve.

Nynaeve leapt from the water, quickly gathering her cape around her, and began to yell at them.

Rand's cry had brought everyone else running, and Mat, Perrin and Loial, seeing Nynaeve soaking wet and clutching a cloak around her instantly turned around to join Lan in his 'Look away!' plan. Egwene gasped, and joined in with the berating of Lan and Rand, Moiraine tried her best not to laugh, and Lan continued to will the image of a naked Nynaeve out of his mind.

"No-one told me that you were bathing! It was Lan's idea anyway!" Rand yelled defensively.

"Oh really?" Nynaeve asked, voice dangerous.

"In my defence," Lan turned around, noting thankfully that she had put something on, "I didn't know either."

"You could have thought to ask!"

"Well, I'll do that next time." The second he said it he realised how it must have sounded.

"NEXT TIME!" She shrieked, "THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME!"

Lan winced. She may have just blown his eardrums. "No, no, sorry. Slip of the tongue."

_Lan:_

Nynaeve sniffed and turned on her heel, heading back to the camp, stopping only to pick up her clothes. Egwene followed her, glaring formidably at Lan and Rand. Loial's ears were twitching uncontrollably, and Mat made a choking sound of suppressed laughter.

"You actually walked in on her _bathing?_" He demanded.

"Yes." Rand said shortly. "We did." Mat guffawed. Lan was still busy trying to forget what he had just seen.

_Rand:_

When they arrived back at camp, Nynaeve was fully clothed and still glaring. Rand was also trying to forget what he had seen, although for different reasons to Lan's.

Egwene was talking to Moiraine about something regarding the Power, no doubt, and Nynaeve sat with a troubled look on her face. Several timed she opened her mouth as if to say something, only to close it again. She seemed to be battling with herself. Finally she spoke.

"Perhaps," She said slowly and carefully, "When you go to Tar Valon, Egwene, I will come with you. You will need a familiar face, and someone to advise you other than Aes Sedai." Egwene smiled delightedly, and Moiraine's expression was unreadable. The night went on.

When darkness arrived they all rolled over to get some sleep, but for some reason he couldn't. He lay watching the camp. Lan was still awake. So was Nynaeve **(A/N: Yay! It's starting! So excited!)** Nynaeve watched Lan for a long time, then poured some tea and brought it to him. He reached out with a murmur of thanks, but she did not let go right away.

_Nynaeve:_

Why was she doing this again? Oh yes. Lan. Love. No! Not love. Like. Like and love? No! Like. Yes. Just like. And love.

She shoved the irritating voice out of her head and faced Lan.

"Angelmar told them the story of the fall of Malkier today. They seem to think you'd make a good king." Why was her voice trembling? Lan watched her intently, but his face seemed to soften.

"I am not a king, Nynaeve. Just a man. A man without as much to his name as even the meanest farmer's croft." Her voice steadied,

"Some women don't ask for land, or gold. Just the man."

"And the man who would ask her to accept so little would not be worthy of her. You are a remarkable woman, as beautiful as the sunrise, as fierce as a warrior. You are a lioness, Wisdom." **(A/N: Sob!)**

"A Wisdom seldom weds," She paused, trying to focus, when all she really wanted to do was break down in tears, "But if I go to Tar Valon, it may be that I will be something other than a Wisdom."

"Aes Sedai marry as seldom as Wisdoms. Few men can live with so much power in a wife, dimming them with her radiance, whether she wishes to or not."

"Some men are strong enough. I know one such." She gave him a pointed look at this point, willing him to do what she bloody wanted.

"All I have is a sword, and a war I cannot win, but can never stop fighting."

Anger surged through Nynaeve. Why could the woolheaded man not see! "I've told you I care nothing for that. Light, you've made me say more than is proper already. Will you shame me to the point of asking you?"

"I will never shame you." Lan's tone was gentle, but that just made her angrier. "I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile. No woman deserves the sure knowledge of widow's black as her brideprice, you least of all." He set down the cup and rose. "I must check the horses."

Nynaeve remained kneeling where she was, as the tears that had threatened to spill during the confrontation rolled down her cheeks. _I hope Ru'n bites him!_ She thought viciously, and then realised, that she did not hope that at all, and that only made her cry more.

**:Sob sob: I absolutely adore this scene, but I cry every time I read it! I copied most of it word for word, but changed some of it to fit the storyline. Hope you like!**


	9. Memories

Nightmares

**A/N: Okay, I am baaack! Sorry. I probably had too much sugar today. Anyway, next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Ce n'est pas à moi. I've also probably spent too much time in French class. **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve lay awake that night, looking up at the sky. She remembered when she had been a child and afraid of the dark.

"_But Mama! I don't want to sleep! I hate the dark! I hate it!"_

"_Come now, Nynaeve, get into bed."_

"_I'm scared!" _

_Elnore smiled and moved over to sit on the edge of her daughter's bed. She reached out and gently stroked her hair._

"_How can you be afraid of the dark, little Nynaeve? It's the only time when you can see the stars."_

Nynaeve smiled faintly. The stars. She had never feared the dark again after that night, and always begged her mother to take her outside to see the night-sky.

Memories floated across her awareness.

"_Dada!" Nynaeve and Anona threw themselves at their father. Laughingly, he scooped them up into his arms._

"_And how are my two precious jewels today?" He always teased them like that. His little jewels._

A single tear escaped her eye. She missed it all so much.

_The man was taller than anyone she'd ever seen before. _

"_Nynaeve? This is Corby. He's going to protect you. Nothing will happen while he's here." It was Duchess Willongeriv, her favourite of the hundreds of Ladies, Duchesses and Countesses who wandered the halls in the palace. _

_Nynaeve looked doubtfully up at the big man, and then pointed to the kitten which lay sleeping in her arms. "It's okay, Duchess. Nyrim can protect me good."_

"_Well. Nyrim can protect you well. Not good." The Duchess corrected her gently. "And I'm sure he can, but just in case, Corby is going to stay with you." And with that, she was gone, her silk skirts swishing behind her._

_Nynaeve looked at the man silently. He was clad in full armour, and a very impressive sight._

"_Why are you wearing metal shoes?" She asked him, inquiringly._

"_Why do you have dirt all over your face?" He asked her. _

"_Because," She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "The Trollocs were coming, so I had to hide in the gardens so that they could go past me, and I could sneak up behind them. I fought them off with my sword!" She brandished a small twig._

_Corby smiled softly, and leaned down in front of her. He took her small hand in his gauntleted one, and corrected her grip on the stick. _

"_Much better." He said._

And that had been the start of a great friendship. Corby had taught her about swords and knives and other assorted fighting tools before she had even entered training, and had been a protector and companion besides.

_Nynaeve stood in the cold, watching her cousins play in the snow. She smiled at their delighted faces as they hurled snowballs at each other. Suddenly, a huge lump of snow was stuck down the back of her shirt. She shrieked and whirled around to see her brother doubled over with laughter._

"_I'll get you for that, Jame Mawell!" She picked up a handful of snow and threw it as hard as she could towards her brother. It struck him right in the center of his back._

_Bull's-eye._

_He yelled, and started sending snow towards her as well, and, in time at all, the air between them was filled with snowballs flying in either direction. Eventually, tired as they were, they collapsed on the ground in hysterical laughter. _

_A face looked down at them, one eyebrow raised disapprovingly. Their elder brother._

"_Hello, brother mine! Having fun?" Jame asked cockily._

"_How old are the two of you again? Because I was under the distinct impression that you were fourteen and sixteen. Not three."_

_Jame and Nynaeve exchanged looks, and broke out in yet more laughing. Their brother rolled his eyes and then joined in._

She missed her siblings dearly, all three of them. _Four._ She closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to think about that. Her thoughts wandered to Lan. NO! That was even worse. She didn't want to think about him. She just wanted to sleep. But she couldn't. She sighed and turned her eyes up toward the skies again, and started naming constellations. She had played this with other people before, and knew it would bring her peace.

**Well, it's just a bit of drabble to fill in the space between now and me not being too lazy to find my copy of EOTW to check what I have to include in the next chapter. So this is my filler.**


	10. The Aes Sedai cometh

Nightmares

**A/N: All right, so I suppose you could say that I am cheating by leaving out the end of EotW, but it's mostly Rand stuff. So just imagine that everything that happened in the book happened in my fic. Okay? Good. Onwards! Again with the too much sugar! **

**Disclaimer: No es mina. Yes, moving on to Spanish. Thank you Google translator! **

_Nynaeve:_

They had stopped for the night to make camp. They would be at Fal Dare again soon (not soon enough), perhaps tomorrow. Nynaeve was exhausted. She sat down warily to think about all that had happened at the Eye of the World. Rand could channel. Oh blood and ashes, she had had too much experience with male channelers. Come to think of it, she had had too much experience with Aes Sedai, Malkieri, Warders, and Trollocs. She smiled wryly. History really was repeating itself.

"Nynaeve? Do you want some meat?" Oh, light, why would they not just keep their meat to themselves? Couldn't they see that the very smell of it made her sick?

"No, I do _not _want any meat." She snapped. Egwene recoiled, looking upset, but Nynaeve didn't regret it. She needed to take her anger out on _someone_.

_Very intelligent, Nynaeve. Just tell an Aes Sedai you'll go to the White Tower to be trained. That's the way. _Well, it wasn't as if she had had any choice. She remembered the meeting a few nights before.

_Suddenly, her sharp ears caught the sound of someone behind her. She bent down with the pretence of looking at a flower, and her hand went to her boot; or more specifically, the dagger hidden in her boot. _

_She pulled it out, straightened, and spun around in one fluid motion, knife pointing directly at the person following her. The man put his hands up in amusement._

"_I surrender!" He said, in a voice laced with humour. She glowered at her colleague. _

"_Oh. You." _

"_I'm hurt," He responded, "Is that any way to talk to an old friend?"_

"_What do you want? I'm having a bad day." _

"_I noticed. The knife you have pointed at my heart was a bit of a give away. Next time try and be a bit subtler if you want to keep me guessing. I..." He was cut off by Nynaeve's knife moving to his neck. _

"_I am not in the mood for your puerile jokes right now, so say what you came here to say, and then leave," she spat, acidly._

"_Wow, you really are in a bad mood, huh? Okay, I have a message from Z. He says that you have the perfect opportunity. You should allow yourself to be taken to the White Tower and trained. We need more ears amongst the Aes Sedai, and an Aes Sedai herself working for us would be brilliant." The colour drained from Nynaeve's face._

"_N-no! I would not become one of those goat kissing bloody fools if my life depended on it!" She cried, vehemently, "I will not!" His look was sympathetic._

"_I'm sorry, Nynaeve, but that's a direct order from Z." And then he was gone, slipping noiselessly into the undergrowth, leaving Nynaeve standing angrily staring at the spot where he had vanished._

Nynaeve sighed, and put on her 'I'm going to bed, can't you see?' performance. She unlaced the knee high soft boots that she always wore (practical-they didn't make a sound- and comfortable, and besides, she was used to them. The trainees all wore boots like that when they were going through training, so she had become accustomed to them), making sure that the knives hidden inside of them weren't exposed. Then she loosened her hair from its customary braid, and began to run a comb through it.

She hummed softly as she did so, a song that her mother had sung to her as a babe, and to her brothers and sister. Once her hair was neat, she began to plait it again. Then she crawled under the blankets, and looked up at the night sky. It was going to be a long night.

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine lay awake contemplating the now sleeping (or so she thought) Wisdom. She had heard enough during their short stay in the Two Rivers to determine that Nynaeve had only been there for three years. What was bothering Moiraine now was where Nynaeve had come from before. She looked Andorian, she supposed, with dark hair and eyes, but there was something vaguely exotic about her, from the way she moved, swaying slightly, to the very pale colour of her skin, which in comparison with her dark hair, made her look almost Carhienin.

But there was also something about her accent; she softened her vowels slightly, giving her voice a lilt, which Moiraine had never heard before. There was certainly something odd about their friend the Wisdom, but Moiraine had no doubt that within a few months at the White Tower, Nynaeve would be telling all. At least, she hoped.

xxx

_Lan:_

Weeks after they had arrived back in Fal Dara, Egwene, Nynaeve, Loial, Perrin and Mat sat watching Lan and Rand fighting with practice swords. Perrin appeared beep in thought, while Mat's foot was slung lazily over one arm of his chair as he juggled several balls; Egwene was watching the two men with swords intently, and Nynaeve and Loial were eagerly discussing a book. Loial had found a kindred spirit in Nynaeve; she appeared to have read every book ever printed, and had an almost scholarly knowledge of any topic you could imagine. The others had not even known that Nynaeve could read, let alone that she was so knowledgeable, but they had grown accustomed to seeing the large Ogier, ears twitching, walking alongside the small Wisdom, both energetically arguing one topic or another.

Rand and Lan gave up after Lan scored another blow, and turned to see Nynaeve watching them thoughtfully. Lan made himself think of other things. He didn't have time to worry about her. But he did all the same.

"You're holding it wrong, sheepherder. You need to use it like this." He demonstrated. Rand frowned.

"Yes, I can see how _you're _doing it, but I cant do it myself. Can't you just describe it?" Lan gave an irritated growl.

"No I cant. For the love of the Light, boy, like this." He showed him again.

"You need to describe it!" Rand yelled. They looked on the verge of dropping the wooden swords, and lunging at each other with the real ones, so they were both surprised when Nynaeve appeared at Rand's elbow.

"Here." She said, uncharacteristically gently. She reached out and shifted Rand's hands, moving his fingers and changing his grip. "That's better." She was suddenly reminded of how Corby had done the same thing the first time they had met. Lan and Rand were staring at her is surprise. Well, Rand was. It was hard to tell (as ever) with Lan.

"That's exactly how it should be held." Lan stated. "You've done it right."

"Well don't sound so surprised," Nynaeve snapped defensively.

"How would you know that?" Lan asked intently.

"Oh, I picked up a few things, here and there." She smirked infuriatingly, and turned to go back to her conversation with Loial. They were all startle by the sound of trumpets blaring and drums banging. They rushed to the railing only to see column upon column of riders approaching. Women with ageless faces, flanked by Shinearan warriors, with a scattering of men with cloaks that blended into their surroundings amongst them.

"Aes Sedai." Lan said simply. He turned to face Nynaeve, and saw that her face had gone white. She looked like she couldn't decide whether to be angry or afraid.

"Light help me." She whispered softly.

**Yay yay yay! The Great Hunt! It's one of my favourite of the ten (soon to be eleven!) books. Okay, so here you go, will try to update ASAP.**


	11. Lan vs Corby

Nightmares

**A/N: Mwa ha. I have returned. Okay, so neela actually hit very close to home in one of her reviews, but Nynaeve isn't quite James Bond in disguise (something tells me Lan might be a little disappointed. ). But it is very close…. So read on! **

**Disclaimer: Es ist nicht grube. German! Yay for Google translator!**

_Nynaeve:_

She stalked through the corridors, angry beyond measure. _Bloody flaming Aes Sedai._ It took her nearly bumping into Angelmar before she decided that looking where she was going might not be such a bad idea. She sighed.

"Are you alright?" Angelmar asked, worried. She would have to be nice to him; after all, he had kept quiet about her. He had recognised her that first day before the Eye of the World, and had not said a word. She had to be grateful for that.

"I have a lot on my mind is all." She said curtly. Well she never said that her idea of gratefulness was the same as everyone else's. Angelmar smiled.

"The Aes Sedai?" He ventured. She stiffened.

"Yes." Forget gratefulness, he was mocking her!

"Ah. Have a nice day, then." He walked off, and she continued on, cursing more and more with every step. Suddenly a hand graded her arm, and she jerked to a stop. She whirled around to confront the person. Moiraine.

"What do you want?" She snapped, angrily.

"I am to show you and Egwene to the Amyrlin." Moiraine replied.

"Fine." She responded shortly. This was unbelievable. The bloody woman could not even let her fume in peace! Moiraine led Nynaeve down a long passageway, and towards a large, ornate doorway. Egwene stood nervously in front of it already. Moiraine wordlessly nodded to Egwene, and they entered the room.

Lan stood inside the door silently, watching them walk. They approached the gilded chair on which the Amyrlin sat. Nynaeve mentally reviewed the file on her. Suin Sanche, Tarian, was of the Blue Ajah. The Amyrlin watched them as they filed in.

"Mother." Moiraine curtsied deeply. Egwene hastily followed suit, her curtsy clumsy and unpractised. The Amyrlin turned to Nynaeve. She suddenly felt the urge to surprise them. _Oh they think I'm just a simple country Wisdom, do they?_ She silently thanked the Baroness Maevina for her lessons on being a lady.

Nynaeve swept down in a deep curtsy, filled with the incredible grace that comes only with years of practice. It was possible more graceful than Moiraine's. She resisted the urge to smirk as she rose back up. The Amyrlin gave her a startled look, and Nynaeve could see Moiraine's surprise too. The Aes Sedai hastily resumed their serene expressions, but Egwene continued gawking.

"Nynaeve al'Meara, correct?" The Amyrlin asked, in a tone that clearly stated that even if she was not, she did not expect to be corrected.

"That is correct." Nynaeve replied, face as expressionless and calm as the Aes Sedai. _Two can play at that game._

"You were the Wisdom of Edmonds Field before? Your first experience with the One Power was when you wove a fireball?"

"Yes." Nynaeve agreed.

"If you don't mind me asking; usually women channel for the first time in very extreme circumstances. Was there any immediate danger when you channelled?" Nynaeve straightened. She would _not_ talk about this. She chose her words carefully.

"There are many forms of danger, and many different causes for the danger. We react in different ways." She could give oblique answers just as well as they could. The Amyrlin watched her carefully, obviously phrasing her next question as carefully as Nynaeve had her answer.

"And is there any history of channelling in your family? We have found that channelling is more often than not, genetic." Another question she did not want to answer. This one, however, was unavoidable. It called for an all-out lie.

"I wouldn't know," she replied. "My mother died when I was very young, and I was raised by my father."

"Ah." The Amyrlin turned her attention to Egwene, and Nynaeve relaxed. She did a customary sweep of the room. Her eyes fell on the Amyrlin's Warder. She quickly looked him over, and then moved on.

The meeting with the Amyrlin tool a few minutes longer, and then she dismissed them. Nynaeve made her way to her rooms, feeling more than somewhat aggravated.

Suddenly an arm grabbed her around the waist, and a hand covered her mouth to stop her from making a noise. She stiffened and prepared to fight off whoever it was. A voice hissed in her ear,

"Ashes, Nynaeve, can't you stay still?" She relaxed as happiness flowed through her. She would recognise that voice anywhere. Corby!

He dragged her back into the shadows, and she twisted around to face him and threw her arms happily around his neck.

"Oh Corby! I have missed you so much!" He smiled gently, and then moved her away to study her. His eyes moved over her, and she had known him for long enough to tell that he was checking for any wounds.

"I'm fine!" She said, impatiently, "What are you doing here?" He scowled at her.

"Maybe if wouldn't wait five months between letters I would feel a little less worried."

"You could blow my cover!" He snorted.

"I know you, Nynaeve. You can lie better than most people can tell the truth. Even if someone did see me, you could make up a story that would not only convince them that it was perfectly normal, but also have me invited for tea." She swiped playfully at him.

"Dreadful man," she said with mock disapproval. He smiled again, and sent a punch towards her stomach. He had been teaching her fighting skills before she had even started her training, and they would often randomly strike out at each other, testing themselves. She easily blocked his punch, and they began fighting, being sure to keep quiet so that they weren't found.

Corby managed to get a hold of her with her back to him, so that they were in the same position as when he first grabbed her. She was struggling to get free, when Lan, Rand, Mat, Uno, and Perrin walked past, and happened to look their way.

Lan, Uno, and Rand had their swords drawn in a second, and Perrin pulled his axe loose, while Mat brandished a dagger, all five men thinking, understandably, that Corby was attacking her. Corby released her quickly, and drew his sword. He was, after all, pledged to protect her against any danger, and a group of armed men certainly qualified as danger. Of course, him arming himself just made the others more certain that he was a potential threat. Nynaeve groaned. This was not going to end well. Corby moved in front of her to block her from the other men. Which they interpreted as claiming her a hostage.

"Let go of her!" Rand demanded. Corby stayed where he was.

"He said," Lan grated, "Let. Go. Of. Her." Corby remained in place. They advanced. Corby followed suit. Nynaeve decided that this might be a good time to intervene.

"Stop that this instant!" She demanded. Corby gave her a hesitated, but the others ignored her. That infuriated her. Suddenly Lan launched into attack, and Corby fought back. Oh Light.

"I said stop!" She yelled this time, and it certainly got the desired results. Both men froze and looked at her. So Lan could not obey an order? She would show him. She ran to Corby's side.

"Oh Corby! Are you hurt? Oh please tell me you're not hurt!" Lan gave them a cold look as she fussed over Corby. Rand blinked, confused.

"What…? Do you know him?"

"Of course! What did you think you were doing? You cant just go round attacking people!"

"But _he_ was attacking _you_!" Lan cut in.

"No he wasn't!"

"Well then what was he doing?" Lan demanded.

"It's a long story." She replied. "But you could have hurt him!" She reached out to tenderly touch Corby's cheek. The flicker in Lan's eyes was all the reward she would ever need.

"Come, Corby!" She declared, and swept off dramatically. Corby followed obediently. As they walked he leaned in and whispered to her.

"What was that all about?"

"What was that, Corby dear?"

"The attention you were paying me. You've never been particularly concerned with my well being before."

"Corby!"

"Well?"

"Alright. I was putting it on."

"You really do like acting, don't you?"

"I'm a spy, Corby. What do you expect?"

**Yay! The big secret is out! Well, okay. One of the big secrets. But I've let you know one, at least. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	12. Mashiara

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Det er ikke min. Especially for neela, it is Norwegian! (Sorry if it is not perfect, I used a web page that translates, and I don't speak Norwegian, so I don't know if it is right!).**

_Lan:_

He walked briskly down the hallway, trying to make sense of his thoughts. _I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile._ _That's what I said!_ So why couldn't he just accept the fact that she had moved on. He had told her to! So why did he feel like this?

During the Trolloc attack he had been so worried about her, only to see _that man_ protecting her. He sighed and stopped to look through an arrowlslit at the courtyard. Presently, he felt eyes on him, and turned around. It was the very woman who had been occupying his thoughts. She whirled as if leave, and he called after her.

"Nynaeve." She froze. "I wanted to speak to you alone. You always seem to be in the woman's apartments, or in company." _His_ company, he added silently. She turned to face him, her expression calm.

"I'm looking for Rand. We said all we need to say long ago, you and I. I shamed myself—which I will not do again—and you told me to go away." Go away?

"I never said—" He caught himself in time. "I told you I had nothing to offer for brideprice but widow's clothes. Not A gift any man could give a woman. Not a man who can call himself a man."

"I understand." Her tone was infuriatingly cool. "Have you seen Rand? I need to talk to him. He went to see the Amyrlin. Do you know what she wanted with him?" Did she spend time practicing being aggravating? It seemed like it. He realised he was glaring at her, and she glared back.

"That man." He said shortly.

"Which one?"

"You know who I'm talking about." For some reason she looked amused, and her glare disappeared.

"Corby?" She asked, her face all innocence and blithe.

"Yes," he ground out that one syllable through clenched teeth.

"What about him?" He felt like he was going to explode.

"Do you love him?" Somehow it came out more gently than he would have expected.

"Of course." Lan took a step backwards, driven there by the pain that for some reason was caused by that simple statement.

"He's an old friend," she continued, "I love him like a brother." What? A brother?

"A brother?" He said out loud.

"Yes. A brother." He felt like a giant weight had bee lifted off his shoulders, but suddenly his pain was replaced by anger.

"Now," Nynaeve asked, "Have you seen Rand? I want to know what the Amyrlin Seat..." He cut her off.

"The Dark One take Rand al'Thor and the Amyrlin Seat both," he grated, and pressed the object he had been toying with all day into her hand. "I will make you a gift, and you will take it if I have to chain it around your neck."

She looked down into her hand. He saw her take it in. It took less than a second for that flicker of recognition to appear in her eyes. She raised them again.

"I cannot take this, Lan." Her voice was soft. He tried to look offhand.

"It is nothing. Old, and useless now. But there are those who would know it when they saw it. Show that, and you will have guestright, and help if you need it, from any lord in the Borderlands. Show it to a Warder and he will give aid, or carry a message to me. Sent it to me, or a message marked with it, and I will come to you without delay and without fail. This I swear." He could have sworn he saw tears in the corners of her eyes.

"I can't… I do not want a gift from you, al'Lan Mandragoran." She attempted to give it back to him, but he fended off her attempts. He grabbed her hands, enveloping them firmly.

"Then take it for my sake, as a favour to me. Or throw it away, if it displeases you. I've no better use for it." He gently bushed her cheek with one of his fingers, and marvelled at how smooth her skin was.

"I must go now, Nynaeve _mashiara_. The Amyrlin wishes to leave before midday, and there is much yet to be done. Perhaps we will have time to talk on the journey to Tar Valon." And then he walked off.

Why had he called her that; _mashiara_? Beloved of heart and soul, but a love lost beyond regaining.

xxx

_Corby:_

Corby watched from the shadows, pondering this encounter. Nynaeve wasn't one to fall for a man easily, especially not after what had happened. But a Warder? He had seen her around other Warders, and she was scared stiff. He sighed, and accepted that she really must love him.

**Another favourite scene! But I stuck the little dialogue about Corby into the middle for fun. :D **


	13. Twenty questionsWoT style!

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Não é mina. Portuguese. Not yay for Google translator this time, though, because I translated it myself:) Clever me! I will now give myself a cookie!**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve moved stealthily through the camp. Her eyes had long since adjusted to the dark, and she had no need of a candle. She winced as a jolt of pain shot through her, and her hand went to her stomach, where the deep crimson of her blood was seeping out and staining her dress. _Great idea, Z. 'Oh, Nynaeve! You happen to be near the spot where a secret meeting is taking place, drop by to take a look would you?' _

At least her opponents had emerged a lot worse off than she had, some missing some fairly vital things, such as life. She smiled faintly at that, and then grimaced again as pain shot through her. She began to curse softly. She had to get back to her tent where her herbs were without anyone seeing her. And she looked like this. She looked down and took in her bedraggled state. Her dress was torn where daggers and swords had slashed at her, and she was bleeding profusely from more than one serious wound. Great. Suddenly she heard a noise behind her and spun around. Oh Light. And she had thought things couldn't get any worse.

_Moiraine:_

"We should depart fairly soon," She informed Lan, who was walking silently at her side. He nodded, thoughts obviously elsewhere. Suddenly her ears caught the sound of soft curses, and she flinched as she caught some that would make a wagon driver sit up straight. She and Lan exchanged curious looks, and they moved closer to the noise. A figure was moving quietly towards the tents. Suddenly it whirled around, and Moiraine's lantern illuminated a very familiar person.

Nynaeve swore again, this time louder.

Moiraine's eyes widened as she took in the Wisdom's appearance. What had happened? Lan took a step forwards, but Moiraine laid a hand on his wrist to stop him.

"What have you been doing, Mistress al'Meara?"

"None of your business," Nynaeve replied shortly.

"Well you must have been doing something fairly dangerous if you ended up looking like _that_." Moiraine responded pointedly.

"I'm fine," Nynaeve snapped, and then promptly swayed slightly, as if she were about to fall over. This time Lan did move forward, and caught her to stop her from dropping to the ground. Nynaeve glared up at him, and yanked her arm from his grip.

"I do not need help from either of you, thank you very much. I'm perfectly all right. I just need to apply some healall and madroot-oil and I'll be fine."

Moiraine sniffed. "You still haven't told me how you got yourself into that state in the first place."

"Oh yes I did. I told you that it was none of your business." Nynaeve retorted. "Now if you don't' mind…"

"Is every thing all right here?" A Warder, one of the ones on watch at the moment stepped into the light. They had obviously not been as quiet as they thought. The Warder's eyes widened as he saw Nynaeve.

"Light! What happened to you?" Nynaeve growled in frustration.

"Nothing! I'm fine, I tell you? Why can't every body just leave me alone?" And with that she stormed off.

"Lan," Moiraine said quickly, "Go and make sure she is okay." Lan nodded and disappeared into the dark. Moiraine nodded to the Warder, who bowed and turned away.

_Lan:_

He hurried towards the tent that he knew Nynaeve would be in, something which he rarely did. When he arrived, she was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her blankets, applying some ointment to her arm. She hadn't had time to start on anything else yet, he noted, so she was still covered in blood. She looked up as he entered.

"Egwene is talking to Verin Sedai." She informed him. He moved over to where she sat and crouched down in frount of her. He took her arm surprisingly gently, and she stiffened, pulling her arm away for the second time that night. This time he did not let go.

"What happened?"

"Why wont you just accept that I am not going to tell you, and move on?"

"I want to know what happened."

"Well you're persistent, I'll give you that. But no.

"Nynaeve, tell me now."

"Make me." She teased him mockingly. He scowled at her, and, taking her by surprise, flipped her over onto her back, and moved so he was kneeling over her, his hands over her wrists, pinning her down.

"I will." He replied, eyes glinting.

"And you think _this _is going to make me?" She responded, disdainfully.

"You're not moving, are you?" He pointed out.

"I don't know," She said, a sly look coming over her features, "I'm quite comfortable like this." She shifted under him quite deliberately, and arched an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you?" He let go of her, moving up, and pulling her up with him. She rubbed her wrists absently, laughing softly at him.

"I win."

"I wasn't aware that we were playing a game."

"Oh, Lan, don't you know? That's all life really is. A game. And you either win or you loose, depending on your strategies and planning."

"Very profound."

"I thought so."

Lan grunted.

"Very eloquent, aren't we?"

"Yes."

Nynaeve smiled faintly, and Lan was reminded of how rarely she smiled. He voiced that observation.

"Why do you hardly ever smile?"

"Why don't you?"

"Answer me first."

"Very childish, Lan."

"That's not an answer."

"I tell you what," Nynaeve said thoughtfully, "We'll play a game."

"Another one?"

"Yes. Another one." She frowned, and then nodded. "Yes. I think we will. I have fifteen questions, and you have fifteen questions. We have to answer the questions truthfully. We have one opportunity to pass on a question, and one only."

"Alright," Lan said warily, "I'll go first."

"Fine."

"Why do you always look sickened when someone offers you meat?"

"Because I don't eat meat." Nynaeve replied easily.

"You don't eat meat? Everyone eats meat."

"I don't. My question. Why are you always so stoic?"

"Because I don't like showing emotion. It's just another opportunity for the enemy. My turn. What is your mother's name?"

"Elnore. At least it was. Before she died." Nynaeve looked like she was experiencing a very painful memory.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. What's your favourite colour?"

"Blue and green. Do you have any siblings?"

"A sister and two brothers."

"I didn't know that."

"I never told you."

"What are their names?"

"My sister's name is Anona, and my brothers' names are Jame and Mikalaus. What is your favourite weather?"

"Clear sunny days. Easiest for seeing long distances." Nynaeve rolled her eyes at this. "And yours?"

"Rain. Lots and lots of heavy rain. And thunder and lightening too. I love the rain."

"The rain?" Lan looked dubious.

"Yes! Don't you love getting completely soaked through, and then taking a nice, long, hot bath, and curling up under heavy blankets to go to sleep by the sound of the rain?"

"Not really."

"Well then you're very strange. Rain is the best." She threw a pillow at him indignantly. "What's your favourite book?"

"I don't have one."

"You don't have one?" She stared at him unbelievingly. "That's not possible. _Everybody_ has a favourite book."

"I don't."

She sniffed. "You are very peculiar."

"Favourite colour?" Lan asked.

"Purple and red."

"Purple? You don't strike me as the kind of person who would like the colour purple."

"Well apparently you were wrong."

"Apparently."

"How many questions have we asked so far?"

"I don't know," Lan replied, "I thought you were counting." Nynaeve shrugged.

"It doesn't mater anyway. I've almost finished fixing my arms. Turn around."

"Why?"

"I need to do my stomach and chest, and to do that, I need to take off my dress. Unless you want to be facing me for that?" She inquired archly. He turned around.

**Okay, I've let another secret out of the bag in this chapter. Be grateful and happy. ;P And I made it longer than all my usual chapters! Yay! **


	14. Enter Antagonist

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Non è miniera. Italian! **

**A/N: Here comes the part where I distort the story! Yay! So Lan and Moiraine _don't _leave the group travelling to Tar Valon, as they do in the original story. Savvy?**

_Nynaeve:_

The trip to Tar Valon passed pretty uneventfully after that one incident, and Nynaeve made a point of staying as far away as possible from Lan. She had seemed friendly enough during their last conversation, but in truth she was still hurting.

When they arrived in Tar Valon they were greeted by a large group of assorted Aes Sedai (yes, more) and escorted into a large open room.

Egwene and Nynaeve stood off to one side, and presently a collection of women came over to see to them. Nynaeve recognised one as Sheraim, the Mistress of Novices.

"Egwene al'Vere?"

"Yes?" Egwene asked, nervously. Sheraim gave her a kindly look.

"You can go with Gerheim **(A/N: Made her up randomly as I am too lazy to go and look up the names of the people who actually were there. ;P)** here, and she will show you everything." Egwene smiled and followed the other woman.

"Nynaeve al'Meara?" Nynaeve bristled. _There are some people who would rather fall on their swords than address me with the level of familiarity that you just did._ She thought angrily, but made herself act composed.

"What?" So maybe not _completely_ composed. The women looked at her sharply, and Moiraine, who had just joined them, gave them a look as if to say 'I told you so'.

"I will warn you now, girl," Sheraim said to Nynaeve, eyes narrowed, "That this kind of insolence is not tolerated at the White Tower. I will let it go now, but if it ever happens again, you will regret it." Nynaeve paid no attention to her words. She had received the same speech on the first day of her training to become a spy, and what punishments came out of her 'insolence' were really nothing she couldn't handle. She doubted that Sheraim could come up with anything worse than Twynig could.

"I'm sure I will," Nynaeve said, almost casually.

"You should heed my warning, girl."

"Oh I will, old woman." One of the novices gasped, shocked, and a few of the Aes Sedai did too.

"What did you call me?"

"Oh dear, is your hearing deteriorating. No matter, I heard that is to be expected in old age."

"What?" If looks could kill, Nynaeve would be dead and buried by now.

"Well it's true, isn't it? I mean you're what, fifty? Sixty? I think so. About the same age as Moiraine here." More scandalized gasps as Nynaeve indifferently insulted two of the highest-ranking Aes Sedai in the Tower.

Sheraim narrowed her eyes further.

"Petalei **(A/N: Invented her too!)**, after you've shown Mistress al'Meara to her quarters in the Accepted's area, wont you take her to the kitchen and tell Lamos **(A/N: I think that's right. The Mistress of the Kitchens at the White Tower. I may be wrong) **to find some pots for her to scrub." The Accepted who she had ordered to do this grinned maliciously, and beckoned to Nynaeve to follow. At Sheraim's words, Nynaeve grinned, and choked back laughter. Sheraim blinked in confusion.

Nynaeve silently thanked the head of the kitchens at the palace for letting her and around as a girl. She particularly thanked her for the lessons in 'How to clean pots in less than half the time it would usually take.' Sheraim was in for a rude awakening if she thought that all that it would take to stop her was a little bit of scrubbing.

_Lan:_

Four hours later, Moiraine had decided to accompany Sheraim to see how Nynaeve was coming along. Moiraine would never admit it, but Lan knew she just wanted to see Nynaeve on her knees scrubbing at the insides of pots.

They were accompanied by a collection of other Aes Sedai who had heard about the feisty Mistress al'Meara and wanted to see her. When they reached the kitchens, Lan could see the satisfied smirks on the faces of Sheraim and Moiraine. Then they opened the door.

They were greeted by the sight of Nynaeve and Lamos sitting at a table, feet up, talking and laughing as if they were old friends. The Aes Sedais' faces turned purple.

"I thought I told you to give her all the pots to scrub!" Sheraim took her wrath out at Lamos.

"I did." Lamos replied. "She finished them about two hours ago. She has a wonderful method of cleaning them! They look better than new! She showed me how, and then baked a wonderful pie. She's an excellent cook, did you know? She's better than anyone else I've ever come across. We've been exchanging recipes."

The Aes Sedai stared in astonishment. _No one_ could win over Lamos. Nynaeve gave them a triumphant smirk, and gathered her things.

"Now, unless you have anything else for me to scrub, I'll be gone." Sheraim glared.

"First rise, tomorrow morning. Be at my office. I will find something for you to do." Nynaeve gave a low, sweeping curtsey.

"As you say, Aes Sedai. I am yours to command."

However, there was a glint of victory in her eyes as she swayed past them, humming softly as she walked.

xxx

Over the space of the next few weeks, the Aes Sedai came to realise that nothing would stop Nynaeve. They made her copy whole documents down, and it took her hardly any time, and yet it was all written in exquisitely precise handwriting, and looked as if it should have taken hours. They made her organise things, and she would come up with a better, more logical system. It was impossible to punish her.

The time in which she wasn't in class or being punished, she spent exclusively in the large library, and it wasn't unusual to see her sitting in one of the many plush chairs at all hours of the night, engaged in an enthusiastic argument with one of the Brown Sisters about some long forgotten war, or artifact from the Age of Legends.

It was Myrelle Sedai, possibly, who came up with the perfect solution to their problem. For every misdeed, they would ban her from the library for a certain amount of time. For the next one, they would take away all of her books. It worked surprisingly well.

_Nynaeve:_

_Dearest Ruan,_

_Do you know what my favourite phrase is? The calm before the storm. Isn't it marvellous? It is exactly what the Aes Sedai are experiencing now. _

_They really think that I cannot get my books back once they have taken them! It's really a simple matter, requiring only a minimal amount of sneaking. But I've decided to let them think that it is working. Save up for something really big. Perhaps I shall insult the Amyrlin Seat? Don't worry, I'm only joking. I may be reckless, but I'm not stupid. I do miss you, all of you, and can't wait to see you again. I really do hate Z. for sending me away for so long like this, but there is nothing I can do. _

_Please take care of my poor cat, and tell everyone that I miss them dreadfully._

_Love Nynaeve._

_Dearest Nynaeve,_

_Well aren't we a naughty girl? The people of Edmond's Field would be shocked to know that behind the guise of their prim and proper Wisdom lies the rebellious spirit of Nynaeve al'Meara. _

_A word of advice though, Nynaeve. Be careful. As much as I hate to admit it, you are better than me, but that still doesn't make you immortal. Try not to offend the Aes Sedai too much. I don't want you getting hurt by an annoyed Warder._

_Your cat is just fine, and everyone else sends their love. You should see Anona yourself, fairly soon, as she was leaving for Tar Valon as your letter arrived. _

_Love from Ruan._

_Ruan-_

_Ha ha. You positively slaughter me with your wit. Be a good boy and don't interfere. I'm going to be fine._

_-Nynaeve._

_Nynaeve-_

_If you say so. You know best after all, your highness. Just for the sake of my mental health, stay out of trouble. Please?_

_-Ruan._

_Ruan-_

_Fine, but I'm only doing this because you're one of my best friends. I will however give the Aes Sedai a little shock. Nothing on the scale of what I was planning before, bur a shock all the same._

_-Nynaeve._

_Ruan:_

Oh dear. This was not good. Ruan knew what Nynaeve's definition of 'A little shock' was, and it was _not good_. Well Anona was headed to Tar Valon anyway. Maybe she could control Nynaeve. Light knows, he couldn't.

_Nynaeve:_

Anona was coming to Tar Valon? Well _that_ was interesting. But she didn't need to worry. Anona was her sister, and would keep secrets for her. It would be nice to see her again.

With a sharp twang of pain, Nynaeve realised how much she had missed her family. When all this was over, she would go home, find her brothers' children, and hug them and cuddle them until she felt better. She missed them all so much. Oh well. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long.

xxx

Far away, in a large house, a tall man sat at a desk, his thoughts preoccupied with a certain dark haired Wisdom. He rocked back and forth, mumbling her name.

"Nynaeve. Nynaeve." She looked so much like her mother. The same eyes. Dark pools. So beautiful. He had almost had her! Almost. And then she had slipped away. His lip curled. He would have her again. He would.

**Ooh, goody! I love evil, obsessed characters, don't you:) He is "Shady-character-from-somewhere-in-Nynaeve's-past-who-is-now-the-official-'bad-guy'". Long name, I know, but it'll do for now. ;P.**


	15. The Black Rose

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Het is geen mijn. Dutch this time! Yay!**

**A/N: Yay! It has suddenly occurred to me that I use the word yay far too much…Oh well. Yay! So next chappie, and my sister, fellow Lan/Nyn addict and Wheel of Time reader, having nothing better to do with her free time, proofread this one for me. And felt the need to criticize me while I typed. Oh, and on the subject of typing, this chapter will probably be a little shorter than most of them, as I have burst a blood vessel in my finger and can't type properly. Ouch.**

**And to neela: don't worry, I know it seems that way, but all shall be revealed…..**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve stretched languidly as she laid down her book, and pulled the bed covers over herself. It had been a long day, and she was tired, but she couldn't sleep. Her thoughts wandered over to Lamos. Her mouth twitched into a small smile. Sheraim really hadn't known what she had gotten herself into when she arranged it so that Lamos would supervise every one of her punishments.

Lamos was one of them. Trained by the same people, working for the same people. As simple as that. _Light, I couldn't cook a decent meal if my life depended on it, _Nynaeve thought, wryly. It wasn't like people hadn't tried to teach her. Countless Ladies, Baronesses, Countesses, and even normal servants had carted her off to the kitchens to try to teach her, but after she set fire to it for the fifth time, they had given up.

The thought almost made her laugh. Organising? Not a chance. Laundry? Nope. Chanwichk, one of her teachers, had once told her that she was a scholar, and would never be anything else. "Especially a cook," he had added, teasingly, as she looked forlornly at the charred remains of what was supposed to be a vegetable tart.

xxx

The next morning, Nynaeve rose early and dressed quickly. She wanted to get to the library before her first class. Presently, she noticed a slip of paper under her door. She moved over to it, and recognised it as a letter. Someone had obviously delivered it, and it had been left there for her.

She stooped to pick it up, and quickly opened it. There was no paper inside, but only a single pressed rose. The rose was not red, or yellow, but the darkest of blacks. Nynaeve looked at it in terror, recognising what it meant immediately. Her vision clouded, and her hearing became muffled. She swayed slightly, dizzy and afraid. Then, with a small cry, she collapsed.

_Moiraine:_

Verin Sedai (having taken a notice in Nynaeve early on, secretly hoping that the girl would eventually choose the Brown Ajah) hurried up to Moiraine that afternoon.

"Moiraine, have you seen Nynaeve? She didn't turn up for any of her morning lessons, and I have no idea where she is. I wanted to talk to her about a book she was reading." Moiraine frowned.

"No, I haven't. I wanted to talk to her as well, so why don't I come with you to her room. She may be there." Verin nodded, and the two women set off, Lan close behind.

They eventually arrived at the door to Nynaeve's room, and Moiraine knocked loudly. There was no response. She knocked again. Still no response.

"Nynaeve? Nynaeve, open this door right now!" Nothing.

"Nynaeve, I'm coming in!" Dead silence. Moiraine scowled irritably, and pushed the door open. The second Lan saw what was inside, he had crossed the room in a matter of seconds.

Nynaeve lay unconscious on the ground; a black rose lying next to her limp form. She had obviously been there for a while, as her hair was as yet unbraided, and Moraine knew that she braided her hair first thing in the morning.

Lan was at her side, gently pulling her upright. Moiraine quickly knelt down next to the insentient girl and raised her hands to her head. A faint glow that only Verin could see surrounded her, and than disappeared. Nynaeve began to stir.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked in confusion, then, obviously realising where she was she sat bolt upright, removing herself sharply from Lan's grasp, and away from Moiraine.

"What under the Light?…" She trailed off.

"We came in only to find you on the floor, unconscious." Moiraine put in.

"Oh. I…It was probably fatigue. Or maybe I just didn't eat enough last night." Nynaeve lied smoothly.

"What's this?" Verin enquired, picking up the rose. Nynaeve's eyes widened.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. I just found it outside and thought it was pretty. That's all."

Miles away, the man who previously had been morose and despondent was howling with maniac laughter. He had sent the rose, and she had found it. Yes, soon she would be his again!

**The antagonist returns! Sorry this is so short, but like I said, I can't type much. So review and maybe it'll get better! Cue hopeful smile. **


	16. Moonlight Rides

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Den ar inte min. Swedish! Weird because I've been told I look Swedish…Not sure why….**

**A/N: And so we delve further into the misty realms of Nynaeve's past, brushing past pain, angst, love, and betrayal as we travel…Wow, I've been reading _far_ to many bad dramatic novels! ;P**

_Nynaeve:_

It was about four in the morning, and every sane person in Tar Valon was fast asleep. Of course, Nynaeve never claimed to be sane. She moved silently towards the stables, darting around any dry leaves or twigs that may make a noise. It had been far too long since she had ridden Ru'n, and she was sure that the horse was missing her as much as she missed it. She rounded a corner, and was directly in frount of the stables. She smiled happily. She saddled Ru'n in silence, her horse whickering softly in pleasure at seeing her again. Once they were ready, she led Ru'n quietly out the door.

She was garbed in the traditional clothes of the Dessa. Her breeches were tight, and her leather vest clung like a second skin. She wore a black long-sleeved cotton fitted shirt underneath to keep out the cold. It had been a long time since she had worn these clothes and ridden like a proper Dessa. Her first memory was of riding on horseback, the wind in her hair. Among the Dessa, a child was first put on a horse at the age of two, and that horse was always born of the horses of the child's parents. There were many customs, and Nynaeve still followed as many as she could.

When they were a suitable distance away, Nynaeve swung easily onto Ru'n and nudged him into a trot. From a trot into a canter, and then they were galloping, eating up the miles. Nynaeve's hair was blown out behind her, and she turned her face to the sky in exhilaration. This was where she was supposed to be! On the back of a horse, not sitting in a stuffy classroom, learning how to channel.

Nynaeve's likes went from one extreme to another. She would be equally thrilled if you were to give her an entire month to read all the books you could find her, or if you gave her that month to ride free on open planes.

She rose on the saddle until she was standing upright, and threw herself into the air in a summersault, coming back down to land nimbly on her feet. She laughed out loud, happily enjoying the feel of being back in the saddle. Later she would have to return to the White Tower, but for now, she didn't care.

_Beale:_

The man stalked angrily through the hallways, people around him scurrying off rather than be subject to one of their master's infamous rages. His hand went up to his forehead, then he snatched it back down again. He had sworn to himself never to think about the life that he had forsaken. Never to think about his son, or wife. But he did think about Nynaeve. He would have her. She would be his. He had worked too hard to loose her now. He clenched his fist to prevent himself reaching up again to touch his forehead, where his _hadori_ once was.

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve was in a good mood the next day, which is to say, she was less temperamental than usual. She completed her classes without a word, an unusual occurrence that had more than one Aes Sedai enquiring about her health. The cause for her contentedness was her ride the night before. Her mind still lingered on it, savouring the feel. She was so busy thinking about it, that she didn't pay attention to where she was going, and crashed into something hard. She looked up. Oh dear. _Someone_ hard.

"Are you alright?" Lan enquired, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I'll live." She retorted, irritated that the very man she had been trying to stay away from since the incident in her room, should have so rudely jerked her out of her revere. How dare he laugh at her? She continued walking in the direction she had been headed in.

"Where are you going to?" He inquired, walking alongside her for some irritating reason that was quite beyond Nynaeve's comprehension.

"The library, as a matter of fact."

"Good. I'll come with you." Nynaeve raised an eyebrow and clenched her jaw, her hand rising to her braid.

"Oh, were you headed there anyway?" She inquired, by this point more than a little frustrated. "Catching up on your reading?"

"Why not?" Lan replied, looking straight ahead, and _still_ looking amused.

"Just what do you find so funny, al'Lan Mandragoran?" She demanded finally, her irritation exploding out.

"Did I laugh?" He queried mildly. She narrowed her eyes at him and muttered something that sounded very much like 'Woolheaded men and their bloody woolheaded ways.' Lan pushed open the door to the library, and stood politely aside to let her enter first. She glared at him as she passed. She wasn't sure why, but she was sure he deserved it anyway.

She crossed over to she bookshelves, immediately losing herself in the musty scent of the books. That was her favourite smell. Old books. It brought back memories of her mother, an avid reader, who had taught Nynaeve to read, and together they had spent hours upon hours in libraries all over the world reading.

She sighed happily as she found the book she had been looking for, and sat down in one of the many plush chairs in the Tar Valon library, and, tucking her legs underneath herself, began to read. She read for a good ten minutes before she remembered Lan, and when she looked up he was watching her, expression unreadable.

"What do you want?" She asked him sharply. She didn't like being stared at.

"How old were you when your mother died? You mentioned it in your tent when we were travelling here." Nynaeve blinked, startled. Well that certainly got straight to the point. She hadn't been expecting that.

"I was sixteen. Why?" Lan narrowed his eyes at her.

"You told the Amyrlin in Fal Dara that you were just a baby when she died." Nynaeve swore mentally.

"Ah. Well there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for that. You see…" She trailed off, racking her brain for something that would get her out of this mess. There was nothing she could think of.

"You lied?" Lan offered.

"Well, yes." He nodded. "Why?"

"That is none of your business!"

"Why is it that you reply like that to every question I ask?" Lan asked, his previous amusement returning. Nynaeve glowered at him, the got to her feet and stalked off in the direction of the shelf where she had found her book. Then, without so much as a word to Lan, she swept out of the door.

Lan leaned back in his chair and frowned. It seemed that the wilful Mistress al'Meara was more mysterious than they had previously thought.

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine straightened her skirts as she moved towards the room she had set out for earlier on. She had planned this very carefully. She knew that the occupant of the room would be out, as she had classes until much later on. She tiptoed through the hallway, and softly opened to door. To her surprise (although being an Aes Sedai, she didn't show it) the room was occupied. Just by someone other than the room's inhabitant.

"And what are you doing here?" She inquired of Lan, as he turned around to face her. He was seated on the edge of the bed, and appeared to be considering whether or not to do something.

"I could ask you the same question," He replied calmly.

"I'm here to finish off what I started in Fal Dara." Moiraine replied. "I didn't find anything except for more questions that night, and I'm determined to answer them." Lan nodded.

"Me too."

"Shall we begin, then?" She asked. Without waiting for an answer, she moved towards Nynaeve's desk. She opened it carefully; she knew form experience that all Accepteds' desks creaked. Inside was a large file, half open. She picked it up carefully. On the frount was written:

**Damodred, Moiraine. See also: Carhien, Blue Ajah, Aes Sedai, Mandragoran Lan.**

"What in the world…" She opened the file. Out fell a well-drawn picture of her. The file was filled with stacks of paper, outlining what seemed to be her entire life. The writing was underlined at certain places, and Moiraine presumed that it was cross-referencing to other files like this.

"What are you doing in my room!" The cry pierced through Moiraine's thoughts, and she and Lan whirled around to be confronted by an angry Nynaeve standing in the doorway, and glaring daggers at the pair of them…

**To be continued… I know, I'm terrible! ;P. But I wanted to post this because I have to go to drama practice now, and I'll be away for a while, so I wont be able to update. So please review, it'll really make my day!**


	17. A girl needs some secrets

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Dydy mo chloddia. Ooh. Welsh.**

**A/N: Hi! This is not your usual authoress, this is her sister. She is supposed to be on holiday, but she couldn't be dragged away from fan fiction, so she sent me this chapter, and forced me to post it, because she doesn't have Internet access. So, without further ado, here it is.**

_Nynaeve:_

"What are you doing in my room!"

Fury coursed through her as she stood in the doorway glowering at the two guilty looking people in front of her. The anger only intensified as she saw the file Moiraine was holding. It was fun the first time, but this was going to far.

_Couldn't they just understand that I am only keeping secrets from them to protect them? I have first hand experience as to what happens if innocent bystanders get involved with this._

_Maybe if you tried being nicer to them…_

_I am nice!_

_Sure, sure. You just keep on telling yourself that._

_Well I'm entitled to be mean to _him_. And she's an Aes Sedai. _

_So? You can't really be angry with all of them for what only a few did._

_Watch me._

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

"What is this?" Moiraine demanded, holding up the file.

"Oh no, I asked first. But I know the answer. You were looking through my stuff. New question. Why?"

"Okay, maybe we should all just calm down…" Lan's attempt at helping was cut off by Nynaeve's shriek,

"You! Don't even open your mouth, do you hear me? I am not interested in what you have to say, AT ALL!" and Moiraine's

"Lan, stay out of this." He raised his hands defensively.

"Look, Moiraine," Nynaeve cut in, "I don't know why you're looking through my things, and frankly, I don't care." _I'll find out on my own. _"Now if you'd just leave, I have much better tings to do." With this Nynaeve gestured pointedly towards the door, and waited for them to exit.

They didn't.

_Great. Just great._

"I'm sorry, did you misunderstand me? I thought I made myself perfectly clear. _Get out._"

"No." Moiraine replied.

_Terrific. Well, what now, genius?_

_Shut up. _

"Fine! I don't care! If you don't leave, I will! I don't care if you look at every last thing here!" And she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Well, that went well, don't you think?" Moiraine offered, brightly.

_Anona:_

She knew the minute she arrived that something was wrong. It felt different than usual. She passed an Aes Sedai in the halls muttering something about 'Disrespectful girl! To think that she would talk to an Aes Sedai like that...'. In short, it positively reeked of Nynaeve.

"Are you alright? You seem…jumpy," Kendel said, looking amused. And feeling it.

"I'm fine. It just seems…"

"Strange?" Kendel suggested, "Odd? Bizarre? Outlandish? Peculiar?"

"That's enough, Kendel. I get the point." He smiled.

"I'm sure everything is fine." He had to say it. At that moment, the two came face to face with two familiar, well, faces.

"Moiraine!" Anona exclaimed, "How are you?" Moiraine looked up.

"Oh. Hello Anona, I'm fine, thank you." Lan started, and stared at the tall Aes Sedai with blonde hair. _No, surely not!_ Anona?

"We just arrived back from Kandor."

"Oh really? We were in Andor, and then Shinear."

"That sounds lovely. Well we must go now. It was wonderful seeing you again." Lan and Kendel nodded to each other, and then the two parties parted ways, Lan's mind reeling. _Anona? That couldn't be. But she had said… But still, she hates Aes Sedai. How could…?_

"Lan?" Moiraine inquired, "Are you alright?"

"Yes. Yes I'm fine. How do you know that Aes Sedai? What's her name, Aletta?"

"Anona." Moiraine gave him a sidelong glance. "She's a Green, we've spoken a few times. Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious," Lan replied thoughtfully. "Just curious."

xxx

Lan crossed the courtyard and walked briskly out into the gardens were the Warders were practicing. There were a few yelled greetings, and he nodded and yelled back, but his mind was elsewhere.

He moved further away from the practice grounds, until he was out of sight. Just then he caught sight of a familiar figure darting through the trees. Her braid was firmly grasped in one hand, and she was angrily tugging at it while muttering furiously to herself. When she found a mossy bank, she sat down and unfolded a large sheaf of paper that she had been carrying, and began to read.

So utterly consumed in the papers was she, that she failed to notice Lan softly moving up behind her. He knelt down and ran his eyes over the papers. He gave a small frown. The words didn't make any sense. They were just a jumble of random letters, and yet her eyes were travelling over them as fast as they would when she read a normal book. Suddenly Nynaeve narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the shadow on the papers. Her eyes widened suddenly, and she snapped her head around to be confronted by Lan's stony expression.

"What do you want?" She demanded.

"What is your sister's name?" He asked her. She blinked.

"Anona. I mentioned that before." Lan gave her an odd look.

"You didn't mention that she was an Aes Sedai." Nynaeve's eyes widened, and she opened and closed her mouth.

"Um…how did you…! I…Whoops?" She offered, dubiously.

"Yes. I thought so. How is it that you hate Aes Sedai, but your sister is one?"

"Well, I can't hate _her_! She's my sister." Lan blinked.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Of course it does. I hate all Aes Sedai that aren't my sister. Or aunt."

"Your aunt's an Aes Sedai too!"

"Did I forget to mention that?"

"Yes."

"Whoops." Lan shook his head. _Her aunt _and _her sister?_

"Id that the big secret?" He asked.

"What big secret?"

"Well, you seem kind of secretive often. Is that the secret?" To his surprise, she threw back her head and broke out into gales of laughter. He realised that he had never heard her laugh before. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

"Is that the secret?" She asked, still laughing and wiping tears of hilarity from her eyes. "That's one of the secrets."

"There's more than one?"

"Of course. Just one secret would get so dull."

"Are you going to tell me the others?"

"Why ever would I do that? A girl needs _some _secrets, after all."


	18. Well, ma'am

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Vh vi poh qvpz. This is Nynaeve's code, which I spent ages coming up with. Okay, so five minutes. You remember, the code on the paper she was reading in the last chapter? I'll give you all a minute to look back. Found it? Good. But it does actually make sense, and it is logical.**

**A/N: Well, I'm back! I had a great holiday, and have now returned home! My blonde hair is now pink (I got bored in the vicinity of some hair dye. Oops) and will take several washes to get out. Clever me… But anyways, here is the next chapter. Hope you like.**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat with her feet dangling into a small stream she had found on one of her explorations of the tower grounds. She leafed absently through a book, pausing occasionally to idly swat away bees that were flying through the air next to her. It was peaceful and quiet, and Nynaeve liked it like that.

At that moment, the noise of someone approaching caught her attention. She stood up, and turned to face them. Her face lit up as she found herself facing her older sister.

"Anona!" She exclaimed, rushing forward to fling her arms around the other woman's neck. Her sister laughed, and hugged her back.

"Hello, stranger! What under the Light are you doing here?" She inquired, happily. Nynaeve's smile turned into a frown, and she glared at Anona.

"Don't you dare say a word!"

"I didn't!"

"Good."

"But if I were to…" Anona said slyly.

"No!" Nynaeve exclaimed, covering her ears, her sister laughed, and tried to pry her hands away. Nynaeve fought back, both of them laughing and joking all the while.

The spy at the end of the garden smiled. His master would be very pleased with this piece of information.

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine paced up and down, angrily, trying to piece together all of the information, while Lan watched her thoughtfully.

"We know she has something to do with Malkieri." He said finally.

"You mean because of the _hadori_?" Moiraine asked, continuing to pace.

"And the _ki'sain_." Moiraine halted abruptly.

"The _ki'sain_? What _ki'sain_?"

"The one in the picture she was drawing," Lan replied vaguely.

"What picture!" Moiraine almost yelled. Lan suddenly remembered that Moiraine didn't know about it.

"Just after Nynaeve joined us in Baerlon, I woke up to find her drawing a picture of a woman wearing a _ki'sain_. I forgot to mention it." Remembering his conversation with Nynaeve the previous day, he smiled slightly and added, "Whoops." Moiraine glared at him. It wasn't as effective as one of Nynaeve's glares, he noticed, but it came close.

"A _ki'sain_ and a _hadori_." She mused. "Interesting. Very interesting."

_Nynaeve:_

_Where was she? Wherever it was, it was definitely foggier than most places. It seemed distant, almost dreamlike. Oh ashes. _Dreamlike_. She was dreaming! How had she let herself fall asleep! This was not good. Not good at all. A figure began to materialise slowly in the mist in front of her. As it died away, she saw that the person was herself. A younger version of herself, of course. The real Nynaeve would _never _wear something like that. _

"_Hello," said Dream Nynaeve, "I'm Nynaeve."_

"_Me too," Real Nynaeve replied._

"_What a coincidence!" Marvelled Dream Nynaeve, "Do you want to come with me?"_

"_Where are you going?" asked Real Nynaeve, but the air around them was already beginning to swirl, and the landscape was changing. _

_They were standing in front of a bustling market, people and animals running around, stall owners yelling, and children laughing. Suddenly a girl rounded the corner, laughing and skipping._

"_That's us," Dream Nynaeve pointed out._

"_Yes," responded Real Nynaeve, "It is." She found tears welling in her eyes; this was her back when she was carefree and innocent. Oh, how she wished nothing had changed._

_A tall, handsome man rounded the corner after Child Nynaeve, and scooped her up into his arms. She gave a squeal of delight, and hugged him tightly._

_Real Nynaeve smiled bitterly. Her father. Everything had been different, then. The air began to swirl once more, and then Real Nynaeve and Dream Nynaeve stood in the corner of a large bedchamber. She recognised the tall, regal woman sitting on a plush, elaborate char, embroidering something with tiny, neat, precise stitches. Another woman, smaller and with long golden blonde hair entered the room in floods of tears._

"_Oh, Lena! My life is over!" She announced melodramatically, collapsing in a heap at the older woman's feet. Lena calmly put down her sewing. Her sister's life ended at least twice a week. _

_Real Nynaeve watched as her Aunt Lena comforted her mother. This had obviously been before she was born, as her Aunt didn't yet have the ageless face that was the trademark of Aes Sedai, nor did her mother wear a wedding ring. Why was she visiting these scenes?_

_Dream Nynaeve turned to face Nynaeve, but suddenly the room went dark, the background changing to that of a crowded theatre house. Nynaeve's eyes widened. It was going to come to this, at some time. This was the dream she dreaded, the reason she did not sleep._

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine strode in the direction of Nynaeve's room. It was the middle of the night, but it didn't matter; the girl, after all, did not sleep. Lan followed close behind her. It had taken her far too long, and far too much sneaking around to come to this decision. _She_ was the Aes Sedai, and Nynaeve was just an Accepted. _She_ was in charge, and _she _would get an answer out of that light-forsaken girl, if she had to shake them out.

She should have just demanded them outright from the beginning, but she hadn't She had been far too soft on the Wisdom. Ex Wisdom. Like it or not, the girl would be Aes Sedai.

They reached the room, and Moiraine flung open the door without bothering to knock.

Nynaeve lay in her bed, quite obviously asleep.

"Well _that's_ new." Moiraine and Lan crossed over the wooden floor to Nynaeve's bed. Nynaeve turned over in her sleep, murmuring softly. She began to thrash more, her speech becoming louder.

"No," she mumbled, "No. No no no no no. Don't do that. No! Darkfriend! Traitor! Liar!" She flinched as though hit, and then continued to toss and mutter. Moiraine felt concern through the bond, and nodded to Lan.

He bent over to gently shake Nynaeve. She pulled back sharply as her touched her.

"No!" She cried, "No!" Lan shook her again, and this time when she pulled back, he continued to grip her, shaking her. Her eyes flew open suddenly, and there was more fear in them than Lan had ever seen in his life.

The fear seemed to die down as she looked back up at him. She quickly jerked herself free, seeming to realise where she was. She pushed herself up, and glared at Moiraine and Lan.

"What are you doing here?" She demanded angrily.

"We wanted to talk to you," Moiraine replied, coolly.

"In the middle of the night!" Nynaeve exclaimed, incredulously.

"You don't usually sleep. We thought that tonight would not be an exception."

"Well you thought wrong! Now leave me in peace!"

"We need some answers." Moiraine persisted.

"And I need some sleep!"

"And the Amyrlin needs to see you." Nynaeve and Moiraine blinked. Neither of them had said anything. They turned to see a frightened looking Novice standing in the doorway, holding a summons.

Nynaeve rose quickly, and Lan turned around as she hastily pulled on a dress. She shot Moiraine one last glare as she hurried out the door after the Novice.

Moiraine sighed in frustration as the door closed behind them.

_Beale:_

He drove his horse faster and faster, desperate in his insanity to get to the White Tower faster. She was there. He could picture her now. She was so close…

xxx

Ru'n snorted as she sensed someone draw closer to his stall. She heard the grate of the door on the stall next to hers being opened. She heard the tired sigh of a horse which has been driven to fast for too long. And then she heard the soft laughter of the rider of the horse. Her ears flattened. She knew that laugh. She had never trusted its owner, right from the start. She knew that he meant nothing but harm to her owner. And now he was here, and there was no way to warn Nynaeve. Ru'n snorted once more, as the man exited the stables.

_Nynaeve:_

She sat at the foot of a flight of stairs, absently watching the bustle of Tower life. A messenger approached her anxiously.

"There is a problem with your horse," He informed her. "You are required to go down to the stables immediately. You…" But Nynaeve was already gone, running towards the nearest door. The quickest way to get a reaction out of anyone who had even the smallest drop of Dessa blood was to tell them that their mount was distressed.

As she ran, Moiraine appeared at her side, with Lan not far off.

"I need to…"

"Not now." Nynaeve interrupted her brusquely. She continued to run down to the stables. Moiraine exchanged a look with Lan, and they too began to sprint.

When Nynaeve arrived, the stable master pointed her in the direction of Ru'n's stable, and she hurried to it. Ru'n was snorting, and stamping, and making a huge fuss. Nynaeve put out a hand to stroke her muzzle.

"What's wrong?" She inquired worriedly. Ru'n butted her hand, pushing her away as if warning her about something.

Ru'n wasn't an unintelligent horse. In fact, she was one of the cleverer members of her species, so she had picked up, over the years, that if she acted upset, Nynaeve would drop everything, and not rest until she was all right again. So she had begun a commotion, loudly stamping and upsetting the other horses. She knew Nynaeve would come.

"What's wrong?" Nynaeve repeated. She knew that Ru'n was trying to communicate _something_; Dessa had very strong ties with their horses.

Ru'n tossed her head in the direction of the next stable, and Nynaeve looked into it curiously. An exhausted horse lay on the ground, panting and foaming at the mouth. Outrage flowed through her: How dare anyone treat a horse like that!

"Excuse me!" she called a stableman who was passing by, "Could you tell me who brought this horse in?" The stableman turned to her with a smile.

"Yes, of course, ma'am." He drawled. "I remember him. The fella was mighty tall, and looked like he was awful happy about something. He had dark brown hair, and almost black eyes. Like I was a-sayin', he looked mighty fine pleased, but also kinda scary. As if he were possessed like." Nynaeve's face paled.

"He- he didn't happen to have a large scar, did he? Just here?" She traced a line down from her temple to her jaw on the right side of her face.

"Now that you mention it, ma'am, he did have a scar right there on his face like. How ever did you know that? There isn't a muchly of men wandering around-like with a scar on them cheek."

"I… I know him. Thank you for helping me." The stableman grinned and nodded, and walked away whistling. Just then, Moiraine and Lan burst into the stable.

"What on earth are you doing, Nynaeve!" Moiraine demanded, but stopped short, seeing Nynaeve's ashen face.

"He's here. Oh Light help me, he's here. I think…I think I'm going to be sick." She swayed slightly, clutching onto the door of Ru'n's stable. She was shaking all over, and couldn't see or hear properly. Her heart began to beat faster, and she began gasping for breath.

"He's here. He's here." She repeated over and over again. Moiraine and Lan shared worried looks. Neither of them had ever seen Nynaeve like this before.

"Lan, we should take her to be healed. She doesn't look well." Moiraine said softly. Lan nodded, and scooped the girl up into his arms. She tried to struggle, but Moiraine laid a hand on her forehead, and channelled a small amount of Spirit.

"She will sleep for a while." She informed Lan. He grunted in agreement, and they made their way up to the tower.

Ru'n snorted happily. She had done her part. Now she could eat some oats, and maybe get some sleep. Horses are notoriously easy to please.

When they arrived, a Yellow sister found a bed, and busied herself trying t heal Nynaeve. Moiraine frowned.

"Is there anyone we should fetch?" The Yellow sister inquired. Moiraine shook her head, but Lan nodded.

"Anona Sedai," he said. Moiraine turned to him with a frown, but the Yellow sister hurried off to send a messenger.

A few minutes later, Anona Sedai swept into the room, closely followed by Kendel.

"Is she all right?" She asked the Yellow sister, urgently.

"She will be fine," the Yellow assured her. Then she turned to Lan and Moiraine.

"What exactly caused this?" She inquired. Moiraine shook her head.

"I have no idea," she admitted. "A messenger came to tell her that her horse had some sort of problem, and she began running down to the stables. When we got there she was like this." The Yellow nodded.

"We will send someone down to the stables to ask if anyone saw what happened." She hastily left the room, muttering something about needing a messenger.

Anona Sedai sat down in a chair near Nynaeve's bed, and Kendel leaned against the wall, relaxed, but still constantly aware of everything. At that moment, Verin burst through the door.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking around the room, like a confused bird. "I heard something happened to the al'Meara girl. Is she all right? Have they healed her yet? She's not going to die is she? That would be an awful waste of good talent." Moiraine sighed.

"No, Verin. She's not going to die. The healer said that she just needs some rest, and not to exert herself, and she will be just fine." Verin nodded her head up and down. Moiraine suppressed a smile. Verin did look remarkably like a bird. But what type…? She trailed off into thought.

Lan went to stand next to Kendel, and for a while the room was completely silent, until the door opened, and the healer reappeared with a stableboy in tow.

"Now," she said, "You mentioned that you saw this girl in the stables." She gestured toward Nynaeve's sleeping form. The boy nodded nervously.

"Yes, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am." He bobbed his head. "I remember on accounta the fact that I thought to myself, I thought well she's mighty fine pretty, I did." Lan glared at the boy, and he gave a frightened yelp. Moiraine gave Lan a warning look.

"An what did you see her do?" the healer asked. "Did you talk to her?"

"That I did, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am. She came in looking upset, and her horse way making a real big commotion. She looked all worried like, and stroked it. Mighty fine beast that, mighty fine. Anyhows, she was a-lookin' at the horse in the next stall, and she looked awful upset. I do not blame her for that, no I do not. Dreadful shame, that horse is. The man who came in with it had been over workin' it-like, and the poor beast was lookin' all dreadful. But I'm a-gettin' ahead of myself heres.

"Y'see, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am, she asked me, she said, 'Who brought that there horse in?' and I happened to have been on the night watch, so I knew, and I told her. I described the man that brought that there horse in, and she went all dreadful pale-like, and said that she was in the knowin' of him. And then she said thanky, and I went on my way. Then this here Lady Aes Sedai came in with this here man with all the glarin', and that's the all of what I know, ma'am." He took a breath after the speech, and gave her a nervous smile. Moiraine gave him a thoughtful look.

"And could you describe the man who came in for us, boy?" She asked.

"Oh yes, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am. I wont be forgettin' hisself for a real long time like. He was the scariest dang man, oh, uh, pardon my language, Lady Aes Sedai ma'am. Like I was a-sayin', he is the scariest man I have ever seen. Even scarier than your man with all the glarin'. He was terrible tall, and had brown hair and deep brown eyes. Like I said to the lady, them eyes was almost black. He looked horrible happy, but also real terrifying. As though," The boy lowered his voice, as if afraid that the man would hear him, "As though he were _possessed_-like." He straightened up, and carried on talking normally.

"Not that I believe them stories, but when you see someone like him, you start thinkin'… Anyhows, he scared the pants offa me, if you'll pardon me sayin' so, Lady Aes Sedai ma'am. But the mostly thing which was a-scarin' me, was the horrible scar he had. All the way down his right side of his own face, it was, and made him look dreadful menacin' like. An' that's him, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am, at least all that I'm knowin' about him. Like I said, it was night, and awful dark, but I saw him as he was passin' under the torches, like. I hope that helps you, Lady Aes Sedai, ma'am, I truly do." Moiraine smiled at him.

"Thank you, child. That was very helpful. You may go now." The boy bowed to Moiraine and the other Aes Sedai, and exited the room.

"Oh dear…" Anona said softly. Moiraine turned to face her.

"Do you know what all this means? And why did Lan say we should fetch you?"

"Lan said that?" Anona said softly and absently. "Oh. Yes. It does make sense. It. We. Nynaeve and I both know the man the boy described. We…well we go back a long way. I know why Nynaeve reacted like that though. Now I know." Moiraine rolled her eyes irritably.

"Could you not give me a straight answer?" She exclaimed, exasperated. Anona looked up, her eyes troubled.

"This man is bad news. Very bad news. He is completely insane. Under no circumstances should he be allowed near the tower. But he is here." Moiraine arched an eyebrow.

"Why is he so dangerous?" She asked. "And why did Nynaeve react the way she did?"

"I-I can't tell you. I can't." She looked distressed. Kendel moved forward and put a hand on her arm. She smiled faintly at him.

"I should go." She said. She left the room quietly, with Kendel's hand still guiding her.

"Well." Moiraine said shortly. "That was interesting." Lan grunted. Nynaeve stirred slightly in her sleep, and Moiraine glanced her way. "We should continue talking outside. We don't want to disturb her. Land nodded his agreement, and they left the room softly, so as not to wake the sleeping girl.

Before they left the wing, Moiraine asked a group of guards to watch the door. _Better safe than sorry_, she thought to herself. _It never hurt to be too careful_.

**Wow! This is the longest chapter I've written yet! And yes, I know that some words in the stableboy's dialogue are misspelled, but this is purposeful. I have just written it how he would actually speak. Please review, I have to go and wash the pink out of my hair now…**


	19. Hangovers, trollocs, and very bad wine

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Itway isway otnay inemay. All right, so technically Pig Latin isn't an _actual_ language, but I'm too lazy to actually translate something properly, so Pig Latin it is. Also, I don't own Prince Kheldar from David Eddings's books (although I wish I did :D) or his hangover cure…**

**A/N: Pink's gone! Yay! But traces still remain… Anyway. Next chapter is here! This is kind of different from the others. But bare with me, this will help with the general understanding of the story and the plot…**

Five years ago…

**(A/N: This is going with the assumption that Nynaeve is approximately 24 when she begins her training at the White Tower- see http/ therefore, she will be about 19 at this time).**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat at the corner table, furthest away from the door. Right now she did not want to be interrupted. She fiddled absently with the large glass in front of her. It wasn't the best quality wine, but all she wanted at the moment was to forget. She hated this time of year. It was her nameday, and by all accounts she should be happy, but today was also the anniversary of the two worst events of her life. And she just wanted to forget.

She raised the glass to her lips, and took a large gulp. She pulled a face as she lowered the glass. It was disgusting. But she drank again, and then again once more, and continued to drink until she was out of wine. She ordered a few more glasses- she had lost count of how many exactly- and drank them too. Then she squinted at the room she was in. That brought a faint smile to her lips. _I didn't know that the room could spin like that. That's a clever trick._ She rose to her feet, and swayed unsteadily. Not good. A man at a table next to her rose and leered down at her.

"Hello, mistress. Perhaps you would like some assistance?" she frowned up at him. She and her colleagues were here on a very important mission. But were exactly were they? Andor? Shinear?

"I will have you know," she said to him, slurring slightly, "that I am jusht fine." She poked his chest, "And _you_ had better move out of my way, before…shomething bad happensh." She smiled triumphantly, pleased with her little speech. The man however, just smirked at her, and grabbed her arm.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" a voice inquired. Nynaeve and the man both turned, coming face to face with Ruan. Nynaeve beamed.

"Ruan! You're by besht friend you know that? You and…whatsh her name? Tua? Tia? Tya?" Ruan pushed the man out of the way roughly, and grabbed Nynaeve around her waist. He pulled her out, with her stumbling and swaying all the way. When they got outside of the tavern, Ruan sighed, and looked her over.

"Nynaeve, what did you think you were doing?" He asked her, exasperated.

"Drinking wine," she informed him.

"Yes, I can see that. You're going to have an awful headache in the morning. Come on, let's get back to the inn." Arad Doman! That's where they were!

"I don't want to go back!" She protested. "I want to go shomewhere!" Ruan looked her over again. She was wearing a revealing red dress, of the type that all Domani women wore, and her hair was loose. She didn't _look_ drunk, but this was Nynaeve. He had seen her drunk before, and she was one of those people, that if you discounted the slurring, stumbling, singing and nonsensical phrases that she came up with every now and again, was as in control of her facilities and clever as ever while drunk.

"We're not going somewhere else, Nynaeve. We're going to the inn, you're going to sleep, and in the morning, you're going to take some jandil root for the headache that you will undoubtedly have. All right?" Nynaeve pouted.

"You're no fun, Ruan. No fun at all. You shpoiled the evening. Who wantsh to go back to the inn? Not me! Letsh go shomewhere elshe!" Ruan rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Nynaeve, let's get back to the inn. Come on." Nynaeve yawned.

"I'm tiered. I think I'm going to go to shleep." She stumbled slightly, and closed her eyes where she was. Given as how where she was, was in the middle of the road, standing up, Ruan sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that night, and scooped her up into his arms. She shifted slightly, resting her head on his chest, slipping into some very strange, drink-induced dreams.

xxx

The first thing Nynaeve noticed when she woke up was the mind numbing pain shooting through her head. She groaned and rolled out of bed. She looked down at herself. Her boots had been removed, and she was still in the dress she was wearing last night. With some effort, she managed to take it off and pull on a robe. She stumbled through to the next room in their apartment.

"Good morning!" Ruan chirped happily. She directed a dark scowl his way.

"Stop yelling," she rasped, "Just because I'm feeling bloody awful doesn't give you the excuse to be so flaming chipper." Ruan grinned.

"If it's any consolation, Atuan is in the same state that you are. Of course, his was induced by too much ale, rather than wine, but it's all the same. He's busy in the steam room. I think he mentioned that next he was going to swim in the freezing cold pool." Ruan shuddered.

"I think I'll join him," Nynaeve mumbled. "And don't sound so disgusted by the cure, I know that you've used it before." Ruan grinned. When they were in training, five of them had formed a small group, Ruan and Nynaeve being the most troublesome and mischievous of the lot.

Nynaeve slipped into the steam room, heading towards the bench where Atuan already sat.

"Hello," she greeted her old friend.

"Hello," he answered back. "You too?" Nynaeve nodded.

"Ale?" She asked.

"Yes. I feel terrible."

"Well, that makes two of us," Nynaeve smiled slightly, then winced at the effort.

xxx

A few hours later, Nynaeve felt much better. The drummer in her head had stopped banging, and she no longer felt the need to scream and duck whenever she came across a light brighter than a single candle. The mission was completed, and they would be headed back home soon. She shook her hair out, and began to brush it. As she did so, she allowed her thoughts to wander to the mission. It was fairly simple: get in, get the information, and get out. It had gone very well. Z. would be happy. She loved these. They were exciting, and dangerous, and…well, they took her mind off things for a while. She set her brush down, and leaned over to pick up a book. She settled down in her chair, and began reading.

Present day…

_Lan:_

Nynaeve paged through her book, paying more attention to the conversations going on around her than to the story. Moiraine had arrived at the grassy back where she, Elayne, Egwene, Gawyn, Galad, and Min were sitting. She had immediately involved Nynaeve in a long interrogation about her health, the questions in which Nynaeve dodged, ducked, ran away from, ignored, and swallowed whole. Eventually Moiraine had given up, and turned to Egwene and Elayne, and started talking to them about some Aes Sedai thing that inevitably got them excited and awed. Lan however continued to watch him thoughtfully, and she bestowed upon him her most fearsome scowl. He tuned his head away.

Elayne tilted her head to one side, and asked thoughtfully, "Nynaeve, you lived in the Two Rivers, right?" Nynaeve looked up from her book and nodded slowly.

"Well, I was thinking, why is it that you didn't live near your parents. Most people do." Gawyn looked up, and nodded his agreement.

"I would probably find that difficult." Nynaeve replied shortly, looking back down at her book.

"Why?" Elayne asked.

"Because they're both dead." Nynaeve answered, turning a page. Elayne gasped.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have asked!"

"It's all right," Nynaeve responded, eyes not leaving her book, "you didn't know."

"How did they die?" Moiraine asked. Elayne's eyes widened in shock, but she stayed silent, indicating that she didn't approve of the question, but loved Aes Sedai too much to speak against one.

"They were killed," Nynaeve said shortly. Lan looked back at her. That he hadn't known.

"Who would kill a farmer and his wife?" Moiraine asked scornfully. Nynaeve rose to her feet, and Lan could see all sorts of conflicting emotion in her eyes.

"Trollocs." She said abruptly, then hurried away, but not before Lan caught sight of the tears brimming in her eyes. The children looked shocked.

"Trollocs!" Egwene exclaimed, leaping to her feet, and running after Nynaeve. Lan turned to watch. Nynaeve tried to push Egwene away, but the younger girl kept on pestering her, until Nynaeve finally turned around. She said something to Egwene, forcing a smile and making soothing motions. Then she shrugged and turned away again. Egwene sighed and came back up to the bank where the others waited.

"What did she say?" Elayne inquired.

"That I shouldn't worry, that everything was fine, and that she'd be all right. You'd think that _I_ was the one who just admitted that my parents were killed by Trollocs." Moiraine frowned slightly at that.

"Let's go, Lan," she suggested. "I'm sure that these children have something important to do."

As soon as they were out of sight, Moiraine turned to him.

"Trollocs?" she asked, bewildered. "Trollocs? I didn't see _that_ coming.

"Neither did I." Lan murmured. "Neither did I."

**I know this was kind of short, but school is hectic, so this was really all I could manage. But I will try to update soon, and thank you to all my reviewers, you really make my day!**


	20. Revealing Secrets

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Δεν είναι ορυχείο. Greek! Do these little symbols show up when you upload chapters? I don't know. Hope so. **

**A/N: How did we get here you ask? I'm skipping, is my reply. Bad bad me, but yeah. We have skipped. **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve pulled her cloak more tightly around herself as she hurried down the street. While she knew that this was a dangerous situation, and that she should be afraid for Egwene, she couldn't help the exhilaration that flowed through her. This was what she had been trained to do. She mentally assessed one plan after another; discarding, modifying. She shivered in excitement.

_Beale: _

She had slipped through his fingers again! He was going to kill her for this. He smiled wryly. Luckily, he had some contacts that knew some things. He turned back to Liandrin.

"Falme, you say?"

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve hugged Egwene tightly as they stood watching Moiraine heal Rand.

"He'll live," he said.

"Oh, that's helpful," Nynaeve muttered under her breath. Moiraine's eyebrows shot up.

"I'm not the one who ran away from the White Tower."

"Liandrin tricked us!" Egwene exclaimed. Nynaeve and Moiraine both turned in shock. Egwene _never_ questioned the word of an Aes Sedai. Ever.

"Looks like your little pet is growing teeth," Nynaeve put in mockingly. Moiraine glowered at her and Nynaeve sighed.

"Never mind. I'm leaving." She turned around and stalked off.

The chilly air tugged at her clothes, penetrating the thick layer of wool. She drew her cloak closer, but it didn't make much difference. She attempted to ignore the cold, like she had been taught, but she was too angry. Suddenly she noticed footfalls behind her getting closer and closer. Eventually a hand grabbed at her arm and spun her around.

_It would be him, wouldn't it? Typical. Just typical._

"What do you want?" she demanded. Lan watched her silently.

"You're cold." He began to pull down the sleeves that she had rolled up. He stopped and frowned when he came across the scar on the inside of her arm.

"I tripped and fell as a child," she lied, pulling her arm free, and tugging down the sleeves herself. She stopped as she became aware of another person approaching them, and turned back around; only to be greeted by the last face she wanted to see. Fear took hold of her, and she prepared to run. _Not good, not good!_ The man smiled at her.

"Hello, Nynaeve. It's been to long." Nynaeve tried to turn away, but found that she couldn't move. He was channeling. Lan moved closer to her side, and gave the man a cool look.

"Ah. And who, might I inquire, is your friend?" The man asked, looking Lan over disdainfully.

"Go away," Nynaeve said, barely audible.

"Excuse me? Nynaeve, are you all right?" he asked, seemingly concerned. "Would you like me to take you back to wherever it is that you're staying?" Nynaeve's eyes widened in alarm, and Lan stepped forward.

"I believe she asked you to go away," he said, resting his hand meaningfully on his sword hilt. The man glanced at him scornfully, and then looked back at Nynaeve.

"I wouldn't mind taking you," he offered. Nausea spread through her. This could not be happening. He couldn't be here. Not again. She squeezed her eyes shut, and then opened them again, hoping against hope that this was a dream. He was still there, looking down at her, smiling slightly.

"Get away from me, you murderer!" She snarled at him, straining against the invisible binds that held her in place.

"Nynaeve! What are you talking about? I think you must be ill." He turned to Lan. "I don't know what's wrong with her, but she is obviously not well. Let me take her back to the inn she's staying at. I'll look after her. We're old friends, her and I." Lan frowned as if considering. Nynaeve gasped in alarm.

"No! Lan, don't listen to him! He's lying!"

"I assure you, all I want to do is help."

"Oh really! Where was your help when you ordered Trollocs to kill your family? Where was your help when you…" he slapped her hard across the face.

"Shut up you little whore!" he hissed. Lan sprang forward in an instant, not bothering to draw his sword. He grabbed the man by the collar, and flung him against the wall. He unsheathed his sword, and pointed it at his throat.

"What under the Light is going on here?" Moiraine demanded, stepping up to them. Beale took his chance. He leaped forward, knocking over Moiraine, Nynaeve, and Lan, and ran off. Lan climbed to his feet, and helped Moiraine up. She directed a look his way. A look that clearly said, 'I have no idea what just happened, or why, but if someone doesn't tell me very soon, I am going to hurt someone'. Moiraine was very good at those looks. Egwene hurried over to Nynaeve who sat motionless on the ground.

"Nynaeve? Are you all right?" Nynaeve did not move. Elayne moved over too, and worriedly watched her. Nynaeve looked up absently.

"Hmm? Yes, I'm fine." She got up unsteadily, shaking slightly. "I'm just going to return to the inn. I feel slightly ill." She set off on shaky legs with Elayne and Egwene close behind. Moiraine tuned to Lan.

"Is it just me, or was that a tall, scary looking man with a scar down the right side of his face?" Lan nodded and grimly looked off in the direction that he had gone in.

xxx

Nynaeve stumbled into a corner and began retching. _How could he be here? I thought I'd never have to see him again. Oh Light, I have to leave_. She pulled herself to her feet, and, still shaking, set off to her room. When she arrived, she hastily grabbed a bag and began piling things onto the bed. _Knife, herbs, food._ She mentally ran through the things that she'd need.

"What do you think you're doing?" A voice inquired. She clenched her fists irritably.

"Packing," she continued to pile. _Why did he always arrive at the most inconvenient of times?_

"You're not going anywhere. Now there are a lot of questions that you've raised for all of us, and you're going to answer them." The hard determination in his voice told her that he wasn't taking no for an answer. She turned slowly to face him.

"I'll answer them." She hadn't the strength to argue anymore. She sank down onto the bed, resting her head in her hands. She felt him sit down gently beside her.

_Lan:_

"What was that?" he asked her. "It the square. Who was that man, and why did you say what you did?" She looked up.

"I'll answer. But you must give me your word that you will not breathe a word of this. To anyone." He nodded.

"I swear." She sighed. Where to begin?

"My father died when I was eight. My mother grieved for two years, and then met another. He was from Malkier, at least his parents were. They escaped before the Seven Towers fell. He became our new father. We couldn't have hoped for a kinder, more loving substitute. He treated us as if we were his own, and we came to love him as we had our real father." Nynaeve's voice trembled, and Lan nodded in encouragement.

"He…on my fifteenth nameday, he and I went out that evening. Father-daughter bonding, he called it." Tears welled in her eyes, and Lan watched her silently. She looked up at him.

"I've never told anyone -excepting my family of course- of this. It's difficult. Living it was difficult enough, but repeating it…" she shuddered. Lan tentatively reached out and took her hand. She could not explain why it comforted her. Maybe it was because it was so rough against her smooth skin, or because it was so large that it completely enveloped her own. Or because it was _his_ hand. Any way, it reassured her.

"That evening I discovered that he could channel. A male channeler, destined to go mad. Already mad. I tried to fight back, I did, but he had me trapped. I couldn't move, or even speak. He…I couldn't stop him…" she trailed off, tears now freely streaming down her cheeks, but Lan understood. Anger burned in his eyes, and his hand went to his sword, as if Beale were in the room with him. Already his usually dormant temper had fired up, and he was mentally planning a lot of messy, long, and painful deaths for Nynaeve's "father".

"It continued for a while," she went on, "and he got madder and madder. No one had a clue as to it, though. Until almost exactly a year later, the night of my sixteenth nameday. He and my mother had an argument. I took note of it, because they never usually fought. They yelled, and then he hit her. I don't know why, it would have caused him pain through the bond, but by that time he was almost completely mad." Lan frowned.

"The bond?"

"I may have forgotten to mention that. She, my mother, was an Aes Sedai. He was her Warder." Lan blinked.

"Channeling is genetic," he murmured softly. She nodded ruefully.

"The next day I was outside reading. My mother sensed them coming. She yelled at me to get into the house. She told him to help her fight them off, but he just stood there, watching. Other Aes Sedai in the area arrived. They were all defeated and killed. There were one hundred, maybe one hundred and fifty Trollocs. He shielded her. From that point on, it was pointless. More Aes Sedai were supposed to arrive, but they never did. I've never forgiven them for that. My baby brother, only a year old, was brought out. They forced my mother to watch as they skinned him alive. Then they tore her limb from limb. They burned both the bodies. I was watching at the window. I saw it all. I ran immediately. I grabbed my things. The Trollocs approached me. That was when I first channelled. They weren't expecting it," she smiled grimly.

"I went and lived with my uncle for a few years, and then…I did some things that needed to be done." She had told enough already, she did not need to reveal the truth behind her profession.

"I came to the Two Rivers a few years later. And then you and Moiraine arrived." Now he understood. Why she had had so much fear in her eyes when she first saw him. Why she couldn't stand the smell of cooking meat. Why she hated Aes Sedai and feared Warders. He squeezed her hand gently. She sat, sobbing silently. He got up softly, and left the room. She needed to be alone.

**Wow, hard chapter to write, but I hope I did okay:X. Reviews much appreciated. Hopeful smile. **


	21. A change of plan

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Это не будет шахтой . Russian, whoo hoo! Weird. I have a Russian neighbor. **

**A/N: Okay, so it's been awhile (for me at least). What's my excuse? Well, school kinda sidetracked me for a while, and then Knife of Dreams came out (SO BRILLIANT!) and then I started reading a few other books, and got a brilliant idea for another WoT fan fiction (which I'm not sure whether or not to post) and suddenly I thought, 'Why don't I update Nightmares?' So here I am. Enjoy.**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat silently for a while, before finding herself slowly nodding off to sleep. She tried to fight it, but was to exhausted to do anything. So, she let herself sleep.

_Lan:_

Lan made is way out of the inn, processing the information he had just learned. He couldn't help himself from curling his lip in an involuntary snarl. If he ever got his hands on that man…

"Lan?" He turned towards Moiraine's voice. She was moving towards him, Egwene, Elayne, Min, Mat, and Perrin not far behind. "What did you find out?" He remained silent. "Lan?" What to say? Light, he had given two conflicting oaths. The question was, which meant more?

_Nynaeve:_

Rough hands shook her from her slumber, and she instinctively stiffened into a fighting stance.

"Don't be a little idiot," a rough voice snapped at her. She relaxed as she recognised the tone of her old friend.

"Hello Jeim. What are you doing here?"

"I came to flaming talk to you," he growled. Nynaeve, used to her friend's constant cursing, (Light, he was worse than Uno!) nodded.

"About what?"

"There's been a change of plans…"

_Lan:_

He returned to her room the next morning. He was of two minds about this, but knew he could not fend off Moiraine's questions forever. She followed him expectantly, wanting nothing but the absolute truth. And she was going to have to get it from Nynaeve. He had sworn, after all.

He knocked lightly on the door, and when there was no response, opened it, and entered the room.

A man sat sprawled on a chair in frount of the fire, feet resting on the mantle. He looked up as they entered. Moiraine blinked.

"Who's this?" she inquired, icily.

"I have no idea," Lan murmured softly. "Who are you?"

"What is it to you?" the man retorted. Moiraine arched an eyebrow at him.

"I'm a friend of Nynaeve," he admitted, reluctantly.

"Where is she?" Moiraine asked.

"She flaming left two hours ago," he replied. Moiraine started.

"She left? She has to return to the Tower, how could she leave?" He shrugged.

"She left." Moiraine growled exasperatedly, and turned on her heel. Lan followed her after quickly looking the man over again.

**Where has Nynaeve gone? What is the change of plan? Why is this chapter so short? Find out the answers to these questions and more, in the next instalment of Nightmares. Dun dun dunnnn!**


	22. And Nynaeve's married! With a child!

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Það er ekki minn. Icelandic. Random, I know, but I am doing a project on Iceland at school, so I picked it. **

**A/N: Hey! Well, I went away for the weekend, and kept on thinking, "Does hotel have Internet? Does hotel have Internet?" In the end I was too lazy to actually get up and find out, so yeah. Next chapter is here!**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve set herself down in the large chair, allowing herself to relax. She looked around the room. She had been here innumerable times, and yet still found it's warmth and familiarity as overwhelming as it had been the first time she had come. It was ironic, really, that after years of severe, tough training, they were given such a hospitable, friendly place as their headquarters. The large doors opened slightly, and a young boy who looked like he was in level three scurried into the room.

"Z. will be with you in a second, milady."

"Thank you," she replied, taking a glass of deep red wine from the table next to her. The boy remained, staring at her wide-eyed.

"Milady, is it true what Jaq told me? He said that you don't need to eat or sleep, you just…_are_." His voice carried a note of awe, and Nynaeve couldn't help but smile.

"I'm afraid not," she replied. "I must eat, or I will die, just like everyone else."

"Oh." The boy looked slightly dejected. "Well is it true that you don't eat meat?"

Nynaeve sighed. She had better things to do than be questioned by this boy. "Yes, that is true."

"Why not?" The boy asked, doubtless wanting an explanation revolving around her supernatural powers, or some such nonsense.

"Have you ever seen a person ripped apart by a Trolloc?" She asked, finally snapping. The boy shook his head.

"Well if you had, it would put you off meat too." The boy paled and scurried out the room. _Serves him right_. She reached into her belt pouch and pulled out the small vial that Egwene had seen her drink from all that time ago in the Ways. She carefully let a few droplets fall into her wine. She had to be cautious with this particular concoction. Too much of it could kill a person. She lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip. She felt a shiver run through her as the mixture began to take effect. It wasn't as good as actual sleep, but it kept her from tiring. After a few more minutes, the doors finally opened, and a man exited, nodding to her. She nodded back, and entered the room. Her turn.

In stark contrast to the comfortable feel of the previous room, Z.'s office was cold and business like. Nynaeve took a seat in front of the desk as Z. looked through some drawers for something. There was already an occupant in the room, and Nynaeve took some time to study her. She looked about ten or eleven, so a level one. Unlike the boy in the other room, she looked confident and prepared. Nynaeve gave a soft smile. She reminded her greatly of herself at that age.

Z. found what her was looking for and looked up. He was a very nondescript man, with light brown hair, dark eyes, medium height, and a seemingly indifferent personality.

"Ah, Amber." The organization had strict rules about equality among the recruits, and so when you first entered training, you were given a colour. This was your new name, used so that you couldn't pull rank on other members. Under no circumstances were you allowed to reveal your true identity to another spy in the organization. Nynaeve's was Amber. She had liked it since she first received it.

"Your new mission," Z. continued, "Is outlined in here. It's difficult, but you're one of the best. I know you can handle it."

"I am gratified beyond measure at your confidence in me, oh noble leader," Nynaeve replied sarcastically. Z. gave a long-suffering sigh.

"It will be necessary, however, to be disguised. This is Jade," he indicated the girl. "She is your daughter. Grey arrives later. You have already worked with him, so you should get along fine. He is your husband, and the three of you are paying a visit to your ill aunt in Tear. The rest of your mission is outlined in here." He handed her a file. "Memorize it. This is very important to many people in very high places. I want no mistakes. Understand?"

Nynaeve nodded. "Good. You may leave now. Take Jade with you. She should be all right. She has been chosen for this because she is top in her classes, and is adept in combat. Teach her some more skills. You may both need them. Dismissed."

_Lan:_

Moiraine approached quickly, looking more than a little hassled.

"Well, she's gone. There's no doubt about it. I've looked everywhere." Lan nodded shortly, knowing that his worry was noticeable through the bond. Just then the man who had been in Nynaeve's room before exited, walking calmly away from them. Moiraine looked up suddenly at him, eyes narrowing. She crossed the space between them quickly.

"Where is she?" she demanded. The man rolled his eyes.

"I told you, I have no idea."

"You're lying." Moiraine countered.

"Very astute."

"Tell me now."

"No." Moiraine growled.

"Tell me. I promise, Lan here has no qualms about running you through right now." The man's eyebrows quirked.

"You really think I'm afraid of your pet bull?" Moiraine frowned.

"Nynaeve used that exact same term once," she mused softly.

"I'm not surprised," he smirked. "It's an in-joke. Long story. Well, must run. See you soon I hope?" And with that he swept away, hurrying down the street. Moiraine frowned considering.

"Well, I suppose that's it. But that's not all." She turned to face Lan again. "We have had disturbing reports from our eyes and ears at the White Tower. Apparently, that large island we assumed was uninhabited is actually populated."

Lan's eyebrow twitched slightly; a sign that in any other man would be the equivalent of a yell of surprise. "It is?"

"Yes. We have sent scouts out, but they haven't reported back yet." Lan nodded, his thoughts still dwelling on Nynaeve. Perhaps it was for the better. He had said she could get hurt if she spent too much time with him. Perhaps now that chance was gone. He would still miss her, though, he decided. Very much.

OOOOOOO

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat cross-legged on her bed, calmly running a brush through her "daughter's" hair some months later. The mission was going splendidly thus far, and they could expect to be finished within the next two or so months. Jade-who was going by the name Pela- had picked up combat skills quickly, and was advancing far beyond her level. As she was being pulled out of her training for this assignment, Nynaeve had been instructed to keep her up to speed. It was all going rather well; there had only been twelve arguments, six books thrown at each other, and four vases.

Nynaeve was going by the name Karien, and her "husband" by the name Rien. They had pulled off their back-story with ease, both being very experienced in this particular field. Now they had just a few more months to go, and Nynaeve was looking forward to returning to her hometown. Of course, she couldn't help her thoughts drifting towards the Two Rivers folk once in a while. Or to Lan. She was shaken out of her thoughts by the arrival of Rien. He hurried in, panting.

"Something is happening at the Stone." He announced. Nynaeve was on her feet at once, Jade- Pela- following close behind. They stopped only to grab their cloaks before hurrying into the street. Things were indeed happening at the Stone. From their inn only a short distance away, they caught the sound of a faint explosion. They exchanged glances, and joined the group of people running towards the Stone. Rien hastily remembered their act, and slid an arm around Nynaeve's shoulders, and held on to Pela's. Nynaeve sent him an enquiring look, and he nodded. Pela, catching the look nodded too.

It didn't take long for them to scale the walls, and drop into the other side. Fierce fighting seemed to be going on. Nynaeve's eye's widened when she caught sight of a group of tall, fair-haired men armed with spears. Aiel? In _Tear_? Suddenly one of the Aiel approached them.

"You should go inside. It will be safer. Nynaeve and Rien glanced at each other.

"All right." They accepted, moving to enter the Stone. Inside it was better, but not by a long shot. Men ran around with bloody swords, fighting whoever rounded the corner, be it friend or foe. Nynaeve caught sight of a short girl with dark hair and eyes and muttered an oath. _Egwene! _What under the Light was she doing here? Nynaeve pulled Rien and Pela out of the way before Egwene could catch sight of her. Ashes, what now? It was probably time to act distraught. After all, that was what noble women did when they were caught in the middle of a fight.

_Lan:_

The fighting had ended, and he, Moiraine and Rhuarc were making the rounds to check that no one was injured. Moiraine left to another room, and he and Rhuarc entered a second door.

"What's in here?" he asked the man in charge. The man saluted smartly before answering.

"A family, sir. They seem fairly normal, a man, his wife, and a little girl. Wife seems distraught." Lan arched an eyebrow.

"The fighting wasn't _that _bad." The man shrugged.

"Either that or she's a very good actor." Lan nodded, and he and Rhuarc moved into sight of the group. A small girl sat huddled by her parents' feet, watching them warily. The man, tall and average looking, was stroking the back of the woman, whose face was buried in his chest as she sobbed. Her hair was tied up in an intricate braid, and their clothing seemed expensive, so it was safe to say that they were at least minor nobility. Which would explain the woman's unnecessary tears. Nobles tended to exaggerate things. Lan and Rhuarc stepped forward and cleared their thoughts. The man looked up, but the woman continued to sob. The man offered a shaky smile.

"Rien." He said, "My name is Rien. This is my daughter Pela, and my wife." Lan nodded. The woman brought her face out from his chest, but it was still partially obscured by a large handkerchief, which she was sniffing into.

"So, so, _sad_! So _scary_!" she wailed. Rien put a consoling arm around her, and patted her back.

"There, there, dear. It's all right. The fighting has stopped now." Lan and Rhuarc exchanged amused and incredulous glances. The woman gave one final sob into the now soaked piece of cloth, and handed it back to the man, who sighed and put it carefully back into his pocket. Her face was now visible. Lan gave a start.

"Nynaeve?" he demanded disbelievingly. She acted as though she hadn't heard a thing. She swooped down on the girl, hugging her.

"Oh, darling! Are you all right?" The girl nodded.

"I'm fine, Mama." The man beamed and hugged his wife tightly. She smiled back, and kissed his cheek.

"Nynaeve?" Lan demanded again. _A child? A husband?_ It had been a few months, not years! Nynaeve looked up questioningly.

"No, Karien. My name is Karien." She insisted. Rhuarc gave him an odd look. Lan stepped forward determinately and grabbed Nynaeve's arm. Rien was on his feet in a second.

"Unhand my wife!" he demanded.

"She's not your wife!" Lan persisted.

"Yeas I am!" Nynaeve-or Karien- interjected furiously, "He's my husband!" Lan gave her a sceptical look. Rhuarc steeped forward.

"I apologise. He is slightly…delusional." Lan blinked at Rhuarc.

"No I'm not, she's Nynaeve, and that's not her husband _or _her child!" Rhuarc tugged him out the door.

"So sorry." Nynaeve couldn't help smiling as the door closed behind them. Light, but the expression on his face had been hysterical!

**Chapter is done. I have planted some lovely seeds here, mainly based on things mentioned before, though…I love mysterious secrets! **


	23. I love you

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Dit is nie miene nie. Afrikaans. Felt like something easy that didn't require too much effort. :P**

**A/N: Next chapter is here! Have fun!**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve twiddled her thumbs absently. It was early in the morning, and she had nothing to do. For the first time in her life, her book seemed uninteresting, and drawing irritating. She sighed and poured herself a cup of tea. She tapped her foot against the floor. She hummed a short tune. She pulled out a knife and tried to see how many times she could hit the same spot on the wall. She concluded that she was bored.

She rose to her feet to take a walk, deciding that anything was better than sitting around doing nothing. She made her way up to the roof of the house, and sat watching the stars and the sleeping city. She found herself gently rubbing the palms of her hands where the scars from the final arch of her Accepted test remained. She sighed irritably. Even this was starting to bore her. Suddenly she saw in the corner of her eye the large pool at the corner of the inn's gardens. She frowned thoughtfully, then began to climb down the roof.

She walked slowly down to the poolside, eye's adapting quickly to the dark. She noticed that there was a single candle illuminating the pool. She slowly unbuttoned her dress and let it fall down to her ankles. She removed her hair from its braid, and took of her rings, until she stood there only in her shift. She stepped into the water, wading in until she was submerged to her waist. Then she ducked under the water, swimming to the other side, and then back again. Lan watched from the shadows.

Nynaeve turned around to swim back. When she got to the edge, her eyes widened. They were silent for a while, just watching each other. Finally Lan spoke.

"You could have said something this afternoon. So I wouldn't have looked like a _total_ idiot." Nynaeve smiled faintly. Lan sat down so he faced her.

"I really couldn't have," she replied softly. "I have things to do, and in order to do those things, I must not be recognised by anyone, or the things won't be done. And they need to be done."

Lan arched a brow. "Could you have been any more vague there?"

"Lan, I really can't give anymore details. Light, why can't you understand that it's for your own good? You say that I could get hurt loving you, you could get ten times as hurt if they knew that you…" She trailed off. "I have already had one person die because of their association with my family. I can't let anyone else get hurt. Especially not you."

Lan growled, exasperated. "Nynaeve, I have no idea what you're talking about. Please. Tell me."

Nynaeve watched him. Light, she couldn't risk him getting hurt, but… she so wanted to tell somebody. Still watching him, she lifted herself out of the pool to sit beside him. Lan resisted the urge to turn his head. Her shift was already to thin to be called opaque, and the water only made it more transparent. Nynaeve didn't seem to notice. She sighed absently.

"I'll tell you."

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine ran a hand through her hair, and put the papers she was holding down. She gave a small yawn. Light but this was strange. The island that they had believed to be uninhabited for so many years had now shown signs of life. The Tower had sent scouts over to try to find some information, but three weeks had passed now, and still no reply had come. She didn't know what to think.

She rose to her feet and walked over to the window. She could feel Lan through the bond. He was some distance away, and his thoughts were, as usual, almost impossible to determine. But there seemed to be a very fait emotion. It seemed…gold. Love? Surely not. The only person he would feel that towards was Nynaeve, and she was a long way from here. At least they thought so. Rhuarc had mentioned Lan recognising a woman after the attack, but Nynaeve? It was doubtful. Maybe she was just reading the bond wrong. It was possible.

She sighed and returned to her desk. Tonight was going to be a long night.

_Nynaeve:_

"Do you remember the night in the ways when everyone else was asleep and you and I talked?" She finally asked. Lan nodded. "You asked me what my ring was. I said that it was a family heirloom." He nodded again. "Well, in my defence, it wasn't a _really_ big lie. Just sort of medium sized."

"It's not a family heirloom?" Lan blinked.

"No. It's a symbol of rank."

"Rank? What rank?"

Nynaeve sighed. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of Kalara?"

"I can't say that I have," Lan replied.

"It's a country. Just south of Tremalking."

"Wait, that island? The one that was believed uninhabited?" Lan asked.

"That's the one. Well, it's really a long story, and, well, I wouldn't want to bore you so, um…" She mumbled something that sounded like 'By monkey is sing'. Lan blinked.

"What? Your monkey?"

"Um. No. My uncle. Is the king. Of Kalara."

Lan opened his mouth. Then closed it again. This was the first time that he could remember that he was actually shocked. Nynaeve started talking very fast.

"I would have told you before, but I have to keep it a secret, because of the things I have to do. I…" she was cut short as Lan pulled her towards him, kissing her thoroughly. She tried to push him away, but her efforts came to nothing. Oh well. It wasn't that unpleasant. In fact it felt quite nice.

Lan pushed her over, and she accepted his kisses. He broke away to look at her carefully. She lay still, watching him.

He fiddled with the sleeve of her shift. "I love you."

He said it in such a matter-of-fact manner, that it seemed almost careless, but Nynaeve didn't care. Just the fact alone that he had said it was enough. She reached out and kissed him gently.

"Me too."

xxx

Nynaeve stirred slightly in her bed. She tried to turn over but found that something was in her way. She frowned, eyes still closed. She reached out and prodded the thing. Strangely enough it was warm. She tried to push it, but it didn't budge. She shivered slightly at the cold, and moved closer to the warm thing. Well, as long as it was there, she might as well make use of it. The warm thing wrapped an arm around her. She pulled back immediately. What under the Light was in her bed? It moved! She tried to reach down for the knife that she always carried with her, only to find that it wasn't there. Neither were her clothes. Oh blood and ashes. Now might be a good time to open her eyes.

But, before she got the chance, the warm thing chuckled into her hair. Wait a moment, she knew that chuckle. Suddenly the memories of the previous night came rushing back to her. She could feel her face heating up. The warm thing- Lan- chuckled again. Her eyes snapped open, and she found herself looking up into the icy blue gaze of al'Lan Mandragoran.

"Good morning," he greeted her.

"Ah, yes. Morning. I suppose it might be good."

"Oh, it's definitely good." Lan kissed her softly.

"Nynaeve! Nynaeve, are you awake?" Rien. Oh ashes, how was she going to explain _this_?

"You never told me why you were here with him," Lan commented softly.

"I'll explain later. Rien? Yes, I'm awake."

"Who are you talking to in there?" Rien asked.

"Myself?" Nynaeve asked hopefully.

"Nynaeve, who's in there?"

Nynaeve gathered the sheet around her, and sat up. "No one Rien." She called.

Lan got to his feet and pulled on the breeches he was wearing the previous day, and made his way to the door. Nynaeve's eyes widened.

"What are you doing?" she demanded. Lan opened the door.

"She'll be out in a few minutes," he informed the startled Rien, then closed the door in his face. Nynaeve couldn't help but smile.

_Moiraine:_

She angrily paced up and down the room. She could feel him getting closer. He'd better have a very good explanation for this!

The door creaked open and he entered.

"Where exactly have you been?" She demanded immediately.

"Busy." He replied shortly.

"Yes, I felt it! All night! How exactly do you account for it?"

"Moiraine-"

"How do you account for it?"

"Never mind."

"Lan!"

"Nynaeve."

"Nynaeve?"

"Yes."

Moiraine blinked. "Nynaeve's here?"

"Yes." Lan repeated.

"I'm going to see her. She needs to return to the Tower."

Lan watched Moiraine leave. He needed to think.

**Whew, it's been a while in the coming, but it's here now! I have been very caught up in all sorts of things, but stuff has calmed down now. I've been working on my other WoT fic, and the problem: To post or not to post! Lol! And to laura sedai, that's no problem. You can go ahead! **

**Well that's it for now! Hope you like! And don't forget to review!**


	24. Mistaken Identity

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Okay, it's official. I am too lazy to find a website to translate my disclaimer on. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I say: **

**Not mine. **

**A/N: I'm ba-ack! Well, I couldn't concentrate all day at school today because I had an idea for this chapter, and so I'm writing it down before I forget it! Which, knowing my shoddy memory, is very likely to happen. So here it is! **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat brushing her hair, while Rien yelled into her ear. She wasn't listening, though. She was working on a problem that had been troubling her for a while: Why had she been able to sleep the previous night without the nightmares coming back? Perhaps they were just getting fainter as time went on. She turned to look at Rien.

"Are you still talking?"

Rien scowled in frustration. "Why can't you just answer my..." He was cut short as the door was flung open. Nynaeve lunged for the knife on the table, and Rien's sword was out in a heartbeat. Nynaeve reluctantly released her knife when she saw who it was.

"It's all right, Rien. I know her." Rien gave her a doubtful look, but re-sheathed his sword.

"What exactly are you doing here, Nynaeve?" Moiraine demanded.

"You really don't learn from experience, do you? The last time you asked me a question that went along those lines, did I answer? And the time before? And the time before that?"

Moiraine scowled. "You'll answer this time."

Nynaeve smiled slightly. "I believe this is the part where I say 'make me'."

The two women glowered at each other across the room. Just then, Pela walked in.

"Mama? Is everything all right?"

Nynaeve beamed at the girl. "Of course, dear. The nice Aes Sedai and I were just talking. Moiraine blinked.

"That's not your daughter!"

Nynaeve shook her head with a great show of regret. "She is. There was a huge fire in our home in Andor four years back. I thought that they both had died. I was stricken with grief, and made my way to Emond's Field. A few months ago, in Falme, I found out that they had survived." Nynaeve smiled convincingly at Moiraine.

"But…what happened last night?" Oh dear. She had forgotten about the bond.

"Ah. A sad, sad turn of events," she said, thinking quickly. "Lan came last night. We spoke for a while, and I told him everything. Last I saw he was going to a…tavern!"

Moiraine frowned. That didn't seem like the kind of thing Lan would usually do, but if he had found out what she just had…it was possible.

"So, you only saw Lan for a while last night?"

Nynaeve nodded solemnly. Her face suddenly paled, as the door opened and Lan walked in. Oh Light.

"Lan!" She exclaimed. "I never really got the chance to apologise profusely about last night!"

Lan blinked at her. "Apologise profusely?" He asked slowly.

"Yes!" Nynaeve nodded exaggeratedly, and gave him a pointed look. "About how I only saw you for a while, and then you left, and I don't know where you went after that."

"Oh. That." Realisation dawned on him. "Yes, but it's all right. I'm fine now."

Moiraine studied them carefully. "So, you don't know anything about what he did after he left?"

Nynaeve nodded. "Not a thing," she said sincerely, lying through her teeth. Moiraine gave them one last suspicious glance, then left without another word. Lan followed quickly.

Nynaeve gave a sigh of relief, and slumped back down into her chair.

xxx

_Lan:_

A few hours later, when Moiraine was happily back I the stone, Lan set out again. He went by route of the large forest outside of the stone. As he turned a corner, he came across a woman sitting on a log. She was small, and her long dark hair was pulled into a braid. Nynaeve. He watched her for a while, and then moved silently towards her. When he reached her, he stood for a time.

"Hello, beautiful," he murmured, slipping his arm around her waist, and pulling her towards him.

She shrieked, and spun around, punching him hard in the face. His eyes widened. The woman had long dark hair, and dark eyes, and bore a striking resemblance to Nynaeve, but it wasn't her.

"Light! I apologise, I thought you were someone else!"

"Evidently," the woman muttered.

"I really do apologise, you look very much like her."

The woman studied him carefully. "Right."

"I'll just be going now," he informed her, slowly backing away. She gave him a look that told him clearly that she thought him completely insane.

He took the long way to the inn; trying to get rid of the memory of what was possibly the most embarrassing thing he had ever done in his life.

When he finally arrived, he stopped outside the door, noting that Nynaeve seemed to be talking with someone inside, judging by the soft whispers. Eventually, he went in. Nynaeve stood across the room, talking to a woman. When she turned around, he saw exactly whom she was.

"Oh Light, Nynaeve! That's the crazy man who I saw in the woods!" She yelped, and dove behind Nynaeve.

Nynaeve looked amused. "Him, you say. Interesting." She seemed to be trying very hard not to smile.

"I thought she was you," Lan put in quickly.

"Really? Wow, Lan. I thought one al'Meara would have been plenty for you." There was a snort of laughter from behind Nynaeve, and the other woman peered out.

"I'm Nynaeve's cousin. Ula. A pleasure to meet you."

"Uh." Lan grunted. "I didn't mean…"

Nynaeve and Ula exchanged amused glances.

"Keep talking."

**Pointless says you? Filler? Lazy, says I. Yeah, I know it's a cop out, but I just felt like it was really time to meet the family… :P. Anyway, I have decided to post my other WoT fic, but there are still a few kinks I need to iron out. So expect it in a week or so. Don't you really, really feel like reviewing now?**


	25. Conflict anyone?

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I would like to thank our guest disclaimer writer for this chapter, Roween! **

**Helaas is het niets van mij! Was dat wel het geval geweest dan had ik nu Robert Jordan geheten en hier al heel veel geld mee verdiend.**

**Thank you Roween!**

**A/N: Hello all! Another chapter, especially for you all! Anyway, I have finally posted this, after getting around to editing and posting my new story! It's called Forbidden Lives. Check it out.**

**So here's your chapter!**

_Lan:_

He felt her shift from his grasp, but he didn't hold her back, keeping his eyes closed. He felt her move, and tug on the sheets. Eventually she settled down, and he opened his eyes.

She lay with the sheets pulled around her, with her head at the bottom of the bed, reading over some papers. He moved out of the covers, and crawled over to where she was. He brushed her hair aside, and gently kissed her neck.

"Morning," he murmured. Nynaeve turned her head to face him.

"Good morning."

She returned to her papers, and he settled himself down next to her, his arms tightly around her. His eyes drifted down to the papers. There were more of the nonsensical words and numbers that he had seen in Tar Valon before.

"Nynaeve?" She looked up at him.

"Why are you here? With Rien and that girl?"

Nynaeve turned over onto her back, looking up at him. She sighed softly.

"It's…complicated."

"I can take it," he replied, kissing her gently.

She shut her eyes, composing her thoughts. When she opened them, they seemed worried.

"Kalara, like any other country, needs certain information at certain times," she began slowly.

"And, often we need to receive this information without alienating certain allies whom are important to the country's future and economy."

"Is this the official disclaimer?" Lan queried, looking amused.

Nynaeve glared. "I'm telling you, aren't I? Anyway. In order for us to obtain this information, we sometimes have to resort to…intelligence gathering."

Lan blinked. "Spying?"

She winced. "Spying sounds so harsh. Intelligence gathering is what we call it."

"We?"

"Ah. Yes, well I was coming to that. There is a place in Kalara. Its name is in the Old Tongue, so I wont bother with its official name, but the trainees there call it the Heart of Kalara."

"Trainees?"

Nynaeve gave him an icy look. "Maybe if you stopped interrupting me, you'd find out a lot quicker."

Lan smiled and kissed her. "I'm listening."

"These trainees are…well, trained. They are the future intelligence gatherers. Or spies," she reluctantly added.

"They start at the age of eleven or twelve, and go through eight, year long levels. At the end of that, they become full…intelligence gatherers."

"So how does this tie in with you being here?" Lan asked. Then he paused as several things clicked into place in his mind. "You?" he demanded. "You are a spy?"

Nynaeve sighed. "Intelligence gatherer."

"That's not the argument!" Lan's emotions, usually so well concealed, were now well above boiling point.

"This is why I didn't tell you!" Nynaeve yelled back. "I knew you would react like this!"

"But you're a SPY! Do you have any idea how dangerous tha-"

He was cut off by Nynaeve's incredulous shriek. "YOU'RE UPSET BECAUSE IT IS DANGEROUS?" she screeched. "UNBELIEVABLE!"

She leapt off the bed; pulling on the dress she had worn the previous day.

"What are you doing?" Lan asked tiredly, temper diffused.

"Leaving," she said shortly, yanking her hair back and tying it with a ribbon. She pulled her shoes on and opened the door.

"What?" Lan stepped in frount of her, holding the door shut.

"If you have some ridiculous delusion," she hissed at him, "that I am not perfectly capable of TAKING CARE OF MYSELF! Then I am not talking to you until you rid yourself of the notion, al'Lan Mandragoran!" She pushed the door firmly, and stalked out of the room, Lan staring out at her in disbelief.

Rien passed the doorway, and looked at Lan.

"You again. What was that about?"

Lan looked at Rien, and scowled. Rien backed away carefully. Lan sighed, and repeated his actions of the other day. He slammed the door in Rien's face.

xxx

Lan hurried through the streets. She had to be here somewhere. He turned a corner sharply, and caught sight of the very woman he had been looking for. Tightly ensconced in the arms of a large man. Lan's eye twitched.

Nynaeve broke free of the embrace, and gave the man a light kiss. He smiled at her, caressed her hair lovingly, and they went their separate ways.

**Mwa ha ha! Evil, evil me! I thought it needed some conflict…**


	26. Betrayal

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Ono is ne báň. Czech. I have translation once more!**

**A/N: Hello folks! New chapter here! Thought I'd update after getting some rather alarmed reviews about the end of the last chapter…hehe. **

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve hurried down the street, fiddling with a small piece of paper. Suddenly she felt a presence beside her. She turned to see Lan.

"I thought I said…" she began angrily, but was cut off by Lan.

"Having fun are you?"

Nynaeve blinked, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that man."

"Man?"

"The one you were kissing in the middle of the road."

Suddenly Nynaeve understood. "Lan, I-"

"Don't worry. You don't have to explain. I understand perfectly."

Nynaeve's anger boiled up. "Wow, sarcasm. Isn't that too powerful of an emotion for you to be displaying, Mr. Stoic?"

Lan clenched his jaw, and walked off. Nynaeve whirled around to face the wall next to her, and kicked it hard. That was a mistake.

"Ow…" Nynaeve sat down with her back against the wall, clutching her toe. This was all _his_ fault. Why couldn't he just let her _explain_? His problem was that he had no sense of subtlety. You couldn't just go up to someone, hand them important documents in full sight of everybody, and then walk off. Especially not these particular documents. You needed a _cover_. Stupid man. Stupid man with his stupid honour and his stupid ring. And even if she _had_ been kissing that man, she was perfectly entitled too. After all, Lan was the one who had given her that ridiculous speech about widow's bloody weeds, and his flaming never-ending war.

Ow. Her foot hurt. She pulled herself upright, and winced all the way back too the inn. Rien greeted her impatiently.

"Have you got them?"

She nodded.

"Let me take them." He demanded.

"No. Z. told me to carry them back."

"Don't be ridiculous, Amber. Let me take them."

"No." Nynaeve snapped, with an air of finality that he couldn't argue.

A few hours later, they left the inn again under the cover of night. Nynaeve led the way, carefully picking through the dark streets. Suddenly she heard Rien mutter something. She turned slowly. Rien stood behind her, and he wasn't alone. Five other men stood next to him, swords drawn.

"I'm sorry, Amber. I can't let you do this," Rien said softly.

She barely had time to duck as he swung his sword towards her. She pulled a knife out of her boot, planting it firmly in his stomach. He swore and doubled over, giving her time to snatch his sword and face the others. Oh dear. This wasn't going to end well.

She began the sequence. Apple Blossoms in the Wind, followed by Cat on Hot Sand. She caught one of the men with Heron Spreads it's Wings, and then blocked his blow with Parting the Silk. It was at times like these when she thanked Twynig mentally.

Wind and Rain became Lighting of Three Prongs. One of the men caught her with Low Wind Rising. She stumbled slightly, but returned with Bundling Straw. She was outnumbered terribly. Now what?

_Lan:_

These walks had become ritual. He stalked through the forest, trying to make sense of everything that was happening. Nynaeve, spies, everything. He frowned as a familiar noise interrupted his thoughts. Swords? He silently moved closer to the noise. Eventually he came across a small clearing. There were seven people. His eyes widened as he noted that the fight appeared to be six on one. And the one in question wasn't very large, and had a…a feminine build? The moonlight streaked across their faces, and his heart leapt as he recognised it. _Nynaeve_. She spun, swords clashing on swords. He was on his feet in seconds, running towards the fight.

One of the men swung his sword at her. She was looking the other way, duelling with another man. Lan leaned in and blocked the man's thrust. The man's eyes widened, and he thrust again, this time at Lan. Nynaeve caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye.

"Rien's left side is bad." She muttered, catching one of the men's legs. Lan grunted in response, and began a short sequence of pars towards Rien. The fight was over quickly. The men fell, and Nynaeve slumped against a tree.

"Are you all right?" He slid an arm around her waist to keep her steady. "I guess you've proven you can look after yourself," he supplied. Nynaeve looked up at him wearily.

"I think you should stick to stoicism. You're not so great with the humour." She smiled a small smile. Lan gave a mental sigh of relief, and lowered himself to the ground. Nynaeve followed suit.

"Lan," she began hesitantly, "That man in the street, I-"

"Don't. I really don't mind. I'm sure you had your reasons, and-"

"We were working with him, Lan."

Lan blinked. "What?"

"We were working with him. He had some vital information. The kiss was just a cover."

"So…you're not…"

"No. But if I was, it would be perfectly justified! You gave me the whole bloody talk about not wanting to be with me because it could hurt me. You said I should find someone else."

Lan watched her, silently. It was true. He had said that. But he didn't want her to find someone else. He wanted her to be his. But she never could be.


	27. Goodbye

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Acesta este nu al meu. Romanian. Ooh.**

**A/N: Yeah, yeah. I know I should update faster. Bother.**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve opened her eyes to the sight of several angry faces bearing down on her.

"Great. You guys really know how to wake a girl up." She sat up, wincing. She may have gone a bit overboard last night. Well, in her defence, she was angry, upset, and…well…more angry. Her head felt like a troop of dancers were doing some sort of jig in it.

"Nynaeve! Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we've been about you? And then Moiraine goes and tells us that you've been here, and shows us where you're staying, and there's a ten year old girl in the front room? What under the Light have you been doing?" Rand bellowed.

Nynaeve buried her head in her hands as it began to throb.

"Quietly," she whispered. Rand frowned at her.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked, slightly softer than before.

"Head…throbbing…pain…ow…"

Mat narrowed his eyes. "Have you been drinking!"

"No, Mat, my head just started pulsating on its own, because it thought it would be a nice idea!" Nynaeve snapped, and then flinched at the pain.

"But…but you're Nynaeve! You just don't do that!"

Nynaeve gave an irritated growl. "Write it down, won't you? I've got things to do," she sat up, and pulled a pouch of herbs out of her belt pouch, "and places to go." She swallowed the herbs. She felt a pang of guilt at leaving them like this, but it was necessary. Some time between killing her partner and getting horribly drunk last night, she had formed her conclusions.

Yes, she cared for them (especially one in particular), but that was all the more reason to leave. She had first hand experience as to what could happen if people got mixed up with her family, and the last people she wanted hurt, were the ones standing right in front of her. It would be hard to leave them, but if it would spare their lives, it was worth it.

She gave them a sad look.

"I love you all so much. I really do." Her voice was soft as she spoke. No! She could not allow herself to get attached to them like this. "I have to go."

She turned to leave. Egwene's hand shot out stopping her.

"You can't go!" She exclaimed. Nynaeve's eyes were sad as she nodded.

"Yes. Yes I must." She gave them one last look as she left the room. Perrin lunged forward to stop her, but Lan grabbed his arm to hold him back.

"Not now, sheepherder."

_Lan:_

Perrin gave him a disbelieving look. "You're just going to let her leave? You're going to let her walk out of our lives!"

"I'm sure she has her reasons," Lan's voice was impassive, but inside he ached more than he could ever put into words.

"WHAT REASONS?" Perrin bellowed, wrenching free of Lan's arm, and storming through the door into the frount room, the others close behind. Pela looked up as they entered.

"She's gone."

Rand growled. "I'm going after her." He moved towards the door, but Pela grabbed him and pinned his arm behind him.

"I don't think so."

Rand blinked in surprise, and shook her off of him. "What are you doing?"

"Stopping you," she replied. "Amber gave me specific instructions not to let you follow her."

"Amber? You mean Nynaeve?"

The child's eyes grew large. "N-Nynaeve?" she stammered, "Nynaeve al'Meara?"

Rand nodded absently, and the girl started trembling.

"I shouldn't know that. I should not know that." She gave Lan an odd look, and suddenly everything clicked together in his mind. _Using some sort of aliases. Not know real names. Uncle. King. _He grabbed the girl's arm.

"Don't say a word. Okay?" He tried to gentle his tone, but it still came out hard. The girl nodded quickly. Moiraine gave him an arch look.

"Never mind," he muttered. He would get answers later.

xxx

Nynaeve hurried towards the ship. She was already late, and the captain wouldn't wait much longer. Suddenly she was grabbed and whirled around. Instinctively she reached for a knife, but her hand was stopped before she got there.

"Relax, Nynaeve." The voice sounded lightly amused. Light, would he follow her everywhere?

"What do you want, Lan?" she hissed back at him.

"I don't know, maybe you can tell me, Amber."

She sighed irritably. "An alias. That's all."

"That's not what I came here for."

"What then? I'm late."

He hesitated. "Why are you leaving?"

That stopped her. "I have to. There are things I have to do. At home."

He paused, watching her face in the moonlight, how the shadows rippled over her perfect features. "I love you."

She could have cried. "I love you too."

"Let…let me come with you."

Nynaeve started. "Come with me? No! What about Moiraine?"

"I-I, please…you must…" he trailed off. She gently took his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"I love you, Lan. I wish you could but- but your place is here with Moiraine. I have to go on my own." Light, but that was the hardest thing she had ever had to do.

Lan gave her a long look. "If you need anything- and I mean _anything_…"

"I know." She reached up to give him a light kiss, but he pulled her closer, kissing her passionately.

When they broke apart, Nynaeve was blinking back tears.

"Goodbye," Lan murmured softly.

Nynaeve shook her head. "Until next time."

Lan gave her one of his rare smiles, and stroked her face gently. "I love you."

Nynaeve sadly picked up her bag again. "I love you too."

And then she was gone.


	28. A letter

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: Ono je ne rudnik. Slovenian. Funky.**

**A/N: I know it's been ages, but I've had so much to do. I got a lot of reviews asking whether or not that was the last chapter. Shame on you! You didn't _really_ think I'd leave it like that?**

_Lan:_

He dreamed about her again that night, for what seemed like the millionth time since she had left. In this dream she was out in the open fields, daisy chains around her neck, and braided into her hair, laughing and dancing.

As usual he woke up with his heart aching. He moved over to the window, and sat looking out. Five months. It had been five months since the last time he had seen her. He wondered if she had changed. He wondered if she had met another man, if she had fallen in love again. It hurt him even thinking about it.

Moiraine had felt him getting weaker. Not physically, on the contrary, he had trained harder and harder everyday, desperately feeding his emotions into his sword forms. But emotionally. That was a different story. His dreams had become more laboured, and he had taken to avoiding sleep.

He smirked bitterly. Now he was even acting like her.

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sat slumped in her chair, absently playing with a lock of her hair. She had long ago tuned out the conversation in the room, and now focused intently on her thoughts.

By all accounts she should be happy. She was back home with her brothers and her sister, she was surrounded by familiar surroundings, and wearing her favourite emerald green dress. But she wasn't happy. Not even slightly. There was an empty space in her heart that needed filling. By Lan.

"Nynaeeeeve? Hellooooo?" She looked up with a start, to find her brother staring at her oddly.

"Hmm?" She replied.

"I say, Nynaeve, you've been acting really strangely recently. Care to share the reason?"

"Not really." Nynaeve got up from her chair.

"Where are you going?" Jame yelled after her as she rushed out of the room.

"To write a letter!" she called back.

_Lan:_

Lan took a gasp of breath. Rand had greatly improved, and was even proving a challenge to beat. Then again, his thoughts were elsewhere lately.

"Good fight, sheepherder," Lan congratulated him gratingly, wiping his face with a towel. Rand nodded. The Aiel watched them with an emotion between amusement and disgust. They still had not become accustomed to the fact that these "sword-wielders" were living in their hold.

Just then, Lan spotted a figure moving out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around to find a small man glaring imperiously at him. Before he could say anything, the man spoke.

"I will have you know that I am on a Very Important Mission. The only reason I took this lengthily detail to find you –she described you perfectly, by the way. Scarily tall, stony, and frightening looking-, was as a personal favour to Amber. Who, by the way—"

But he was cut off as Lan snatched the letter from his hand. The name spun round his head. _Amber. Amber equals Nynaeve. Nynaeve. Nynaeve. Nynaeve._

The small man scowled and stormed off. "Don't bother thanking me," he yelled back over his shoulder. But Lan wasn't listening he was focusing on unwrapping the letter in the shortest amount of time possible. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noted that the seal on the back was the same as the floral pattern on the ring he had noticed on her hand in the Ways, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

It seemed like it took forever to get the envelope off, but eventually he did, and there it was. A beautifully long letter, in Nynaeve's exquisite, precise handwriting.

_My Lan,_

_I don't know how to start this. How can I describe the thoughts, emotions, which have gone through me since I left?_

_I love you, Lan. So, so much. I miss you more than anything. I think about you everyday, and dream about you at night. Do you miss me? _

_I'm with my family, now, a relief after all those years I spent away. I am surrounded by my old life, but somehow I still want the new one. The one with you. Words cannot begin to describe how much I love you, and want to be with you. But I can't._

_You have made it abundantly clear that it would not work, and I have my work and position to think of. I love you Lan. Don't forget me._

_Say hello to the Emond's Fielders for me, would you? And tell Moiraine she's won this round, but not the fight._

_Always yours,_

_Nynaeve._

Lan stared at the paper, long after he had finished reading the message. His throat felt dry.

Rand wandered over to his side. "What's that?" he asked.

Lan cleared his throat. "Nynaeve says hello," he said, as matter of factly as he could.

"Nynaeve! Is that from Nynaeve? Let me read it!" Rand tried to snatch it out of Lan's hands, but he held onto it.

"I'd rather you didn't, sheepherder. Its private."

Rand nodded his understanding. "If you say so. I'm going to tell the others."

Lan stayed behind, watching the paper. He let a smile slip onto his face.

Nynaeve.

**Just a short chapter to keep you going, and to make sure you didn't think I was dead! Longer chapter to come soon. I promise!**


	29. An Arrival

Nightmares

**Disclaimer: ****광산이 아니다****. 'Tis Korean. I am hoping that the symbols will show up.**

**A/N: I promised a longer chapter, but due to severe exam stress, I'm afraid you're going to have to make do with this short one. I've tried to put in some exciting parts, though! Also, I'm shortening the amount of time that passed between the Waste and Tear. For reasons you shall find out shortly…**

_Nynaeve:_

Nynaeve sighed and turned over onto her back, ignoring the sudden rush that came from dangling her head over the edge of the bed.

She adjusted her book so that it was upside down and she could read it from this position. It was one of her favorite books, and she had selected it to help keep her mind off more serious things, but today it just didn't seem to be working. She sighed, and let go of the book, letting it thud to the floor.

She closed her eyes and tried to envision calmness, but an annoying picture of Lan popped into her head. Not good. She opened her eyes with a start, and came eye to eye with a large, unblinking pair of green eyes. She groaned.

"What is it, Della? I've already fed you for the day." The cat mewled, and jumped onto the bed, settling itself on her stomach. Nynaeve closed her eyes again trying to find some peace. But none came.

She pulled herself up with a grimace. She had been eating too much; she was starting to get wider. She pushed Della off her stomach. The cat turned around and gave her a disgruntled look. Nynaeve slipped off her shoes and settled back on the pillows, hoping to get a bit of sleep. She rested one hand carelessly on her stomach. She was definitely getting wider.

_Moiraine:_

Moiraine was sitting rather comfortably in the center of the hold with the Emond's Fielders, looking over some documents from the Ajah's eyes and ears when Rand entered. He wandered casually over to the carpets where the others sat, poured himself a glass of water, and remarked, almost offhandedly,

"Nynaeve sends her regards."

That got everyone's attention.

"Nynaeve?"

"How? How do you know?"

"Is she here?"

They all chimed in with questions at once, Moiraine no less so.

Rand grinned, putting on an act of nonchalance when he was truly bursting to tell the truth had paid off.

"She wrote a letter! Some guy delivered it, I don't know who, but she said hello to us all!"

"She sent the letter to you?" Mat asked.

Rand frowned. "No, to Lan."

Moiraine arched an eyebrow. _To Lan? Interesting._

_Lan:_

Lan sat on his bed, rereading the letter for what seemed like the hundredth time. He knew the words by heart now, but seeing her handwriting, and being able to smell the little bit of her that clung to the parchment, helped him to remember her.

There was a sudden noise behind him, and he turned around. Moiraine was entering the room.

"I heard from Rand that Nynaeve sent you a letter."

Lan looked up, letting a small amount of annoyance slip into his expression. "I did." He replied evenly.

"And?"

"And what?"

"May I see it?"

Lan clenched his jaw. "It's private."

"Oh. Did she at least have something to say to me?"

"Something about you winning this round, but not the fight."

Moiraine gave a small smile. "I see. How very sweet of her."

_Nynaeve:_

"_How_ many soldiers!" she shrieked in disbelief.

The messenger winced. "Yes, well, the expedition was…not entirely successful, but we have all of our best scientists working on improving the weaponry and should be relatively ready in at least two months-"

"Two months?" Nynaeve interjected with a look of disbelief on her face.

"Well, we are, Your Highness, taking into account the complexities of the situ-"

"Four weeks at the most."

"Four weeks? I beg your pardon, Highness, but four weeks is just not enough time!"

"Four weeks," Nynaeve said, with a look of finality on her face. "Good day, my lord."

"B-but!"

"I said good day!" The lord sighed and retreated from the council room. Jame arched an eyebrow at her.

"What?" she mouthed. He smiled softly, and shook his head. Nynaeve loved ordering people about. Always had.

Their Uncle adjourned the council meeting, and Nynaeve got up to leave with her brothers.

"Nynaeve?" her Uncle's voice called out. "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

Nynaeve stopped walking, and waited until everyone had left before closing the door with a soft thud. "Yes, Uncle?"

Her Uncle rose and began pacing the room.

"Nynaeve, dear, as you know, we have a small situation on our hands," he began. Nynaeve snorted. _Small_ didn't even begin to cover it. Since she had returned with the documents, events had escalated. Her uncle was worried that they were on the verge of a full scale war.

"There's something I need you to do for me, Nynaeve."

**Time passes…**

_Mat:_

Mat sat cross legged on the mat, trying to teach Elayne how to play dice. Normally, it wouldn't be something she approved of, but they were all too bored to think of anything else to do. Lan was sitting off to the side, leaning against the wall and obviously lost in thought. The Aes Sedai who had been sent by the Tower to accompany Elayne to Ebou Dar, Jamera of the Green Ajah, was busy flirting half-heartedly with one of the guards.

A sudden blast of wind blew Elayne's gold hair back as the door was flung open. Lan was on his feet in a second, sword out. The serving girl in the doorway gave a start, and Lan re-sheathed his sword, reluctantly.

"Ah, good Aes Sedai, there is a woman, apparently of your acquaintance who wishes to speak with you," the serving girl announced, eyes cast downward.

"What woman?" Elayne demanded.

"A Lady, Aes Sedai. She is quite spectacular." The girl's eyes lifted, and the people in the room could see they were wide with awe. "Silk dresses and satin slippers, Aes Sedai."

"A Lady? Of my acquaintance, she must be Andorian." Elayne frowned.

"No, Aes Sedai. Not Andorian. Foreign looking though, but not fair like an Andorian. She asked for you by name, Elayne Sedai of the Green Ajah."

"Did she give you her name, perchance?" Elayne inquired, now deeply confused.

"Lady Nynaeve."

Lan's head snapped upward, his face whitening.


	30. AN Please Read

To all my wonderful readers,

Wow. Just, wow. I really hoped I wouldn't have to do this, ever, but recent events have forced me to this.

I realize (and am eternally grateful for) that you have put up with my constant non-updating, and stuck through with me this far. I also realize that as I type this you are all probably sharpening pitchforks and firing up the torches, but please, take a moment to consider my argument. Please, don't kill me yet…

You see, a lot of stuff has been going on in my life, and I am taking an opportunity to step back and re-evaluate some things. I really am not writing this to make excuses about myself or anything, but I have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately, including planning a move halfway across the world and some big family issues, and I've been assessing what is really important in my life.

Writing is, of course, very high on my list, but I don't know that I can manage to keep up with updating regularly on fanfiction and also with all my own writing and all the other stuff going on in my life. I will still try to update all my stories, but I will not be able to do it regularly, and I doubt I will be updating promptly.

I am so sorry, and I completely understand if you want to build voodoo dolls of me and poke me repeatedly. I am enjoying writing this so much, and am very reluctant to stop, but as of now, my stories are on hold.

Thank you so much for sticking with me this far, and for all your wonderful reviews. I am so, so, grateful for it all.

-Penny, aka, Lan's Mashiara.


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